


Angels in Flight

by Amarxlen, HinataOC



Series: Lucky0Stars Collections [8]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Reader Insert, Second Person, Xigbar - Freeform, shy reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amarxlen/pseuds/Amarxlen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinataOC/pseuds/HinataOC
Summary: A series of ficlets following a singular storyline between Xigbar and a shy Female Reader. All of these have been requested from our Kingdom Hearts Imaging Blog on Tumblr, Lucky0Stars. Most of them are linear, but occasionally a out of timeline request is made.~You don't know what it is about the Marksman that has you so thoroughly enraptured, but he has you wrapped around his slender finger. He is the one person than can melt away your insecurities and make you forget that all you really are is a Nobody.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 by: Mod Amar

\-------------------------

You glanced at Saix from the corner of your eye, fighting the urge to shift from foot to foot as you waited. For days now, Saix had been sending the Organization on missions in pairs, and you’d been lucky enough to end up with members that were as content not to talk as you were, but today was different. All the other members were already off on missions, except for you and your partner.

A nervousness fluttered through you as you thought about how Saix had told you that your mission that day would be with Xigbar. He surely wasn’t one of the members content with silence, and while you felt yourself drawn to him, you were worried about how the mission would play out. What would you talk about? Would you be able to talk to him about anything? What if you sounded stupid? Or worse, what if he thought you were annoying? But how could you be annoying if you didn’t say anything and—

“You’re late.”

You drew in a sharp breath and looked up quickly. Xigbar was walking towards the two of you, a smirk on his face and mischief in his eye.

“Yeah, yeah, take it up with the boss man if you’ve got such a problem,” he said flippantly, waving his hand through the air.

His eye shifted over to you, smirk widening as your face reddened.

“You’re to tell me Lord Xemnas is the reason for your tardiness?”

“Aw nuts.” His gaze moved away and you felt as though you could breathe again. “You caught me.”

Saix sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. All you could do was stand there awkwardly through the exchange, unable to stop yourself now from shifting foot to foot. All you wanted was to go out and complete your mission and hopefully not make a gigantic fool of yourself. Not be stuck in the middle of Saix and Xigbar squabbling and not able to bring yourself to stop it.

“Your mission is to Halloween Town today,” Saix informed you, choosing to ignore Xigbar’s sass. “Dispatch the Heartless there and then report back.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Xigbar said again. “We know the drill. You ready to go, Hot Stuff?”

You blinked, not realizing for a moment that he was actually talking to you, until the unwavering stare and smirk he gave you made it clear that he was.

“M-me?”

Your cheeks flushed even deeper from the squeak in your voice. You reflexively covered your face, and wanted so badly summon a dark corridor back to your room so you could hide from that stare that gave you butterflies for more than one reason. An arm suddenly wrapped around your shoulders and you squeaked, knowing there was nobody else it could be but Xigbar.

“I don’t see anybody else here,” he said with a sharp laugh. “So whaddya say?”

Words wouldn’t come, so instead you simply nodded, trying hard to calm your racing heart as he summoned a corridor. He kept his arm around you as the two of you walked towards the portal, only pausing to look over his shoulder and cast one last comment at Saix.

“Don’t wait up, now!”

You were half certain your face had invented a new shade of red with how deeply you were blushing, and fully certain that anything Xigbar had implied just now was just a joke, but it was sending your thoughts in a very specific direction. Besides that, you were now worried about how well, with your nerves already as shot as they were, you’d be able to handle Halloween Town. You weren’t necessarily easy to scare, but you were already on edge, your senses heightened. You’d probably end up making a total fool of yourself.

“Heh, ease up, Hot Stuff.” He pulled you in close and grinned. “I don’t bite. Much.” Laughing again, he released you and walked on ahead, disappearing through the other end of the corridor.

Your eyes widened and you hurried after him. Despite his words and the nervousness in your stomach, you’d still rather be near him than alone in the darkness. In your haste to follow him, you didn’t see that he’d stopped just outside of the portal and couldn’t stop yourself from running face first into his chest. You gasped, stumbling back, but unable to get far before his hand snaked around your wrist and pulled you back in.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“So you can speak!” The jab caused you to immediately press your lips together, averting your gaze from him. “Well don’t stop now. Don’tcha got anything else to say to me?”

You sucked in a breath and looked back up at him. You were acutely aware of how close the two of you were, his warmth and the grin on his face sending your nerves skyrocketing.

“Like—” Your voice cracked, so you swallowed roughly and tried again. “Like what?”

“Dunno,” he said, seemingly unphased by your answer. “That’s why I’m asking. Gotta be something going on in that head of yours.” He rapped his knuckles against your forehead before pulling away again.

As he walked away, you breathed out slowly, bringing your hand up to your forehead as you watched him go. Your skin tingled where he had touched it, and you were starting to wonder if he knew more than he was letting on.

“You comin’ or what?”

“Y-yes!”

You hurried after him, the two of you following the path through the woods in silence.

“Not much of a talker, are ya?”

“Not really…” you admitted.

“Never really got the shy type. You scared of people or something?”

Was he… trying to make conversation with you? Or was he making fun of you? But his question did make you think. It wasn’t that you were scared of people, exactly.

“Not exactly… I just… don’t know what to say.”

He scoffed, the sound causing you to look down at your shoes. He definitely thought you were weird now.

“And what, you think everybody else does? As if.”

You paused, glancing up at him to see his expression. It didn’t seem like he was judging you.

“It sure seems like they do…”

“Trust me, Hot Stuff. Nobody’s got a damn clue. Why do you think Demyx blabs about his sitar all day?”

“…because he likes it?”

Xigbar laughed. Every time he did so, it was sharp, and you couldn’t exactly say there was mirth in it. Yet despite yourself, you found you were relaxing, growing comfortable in his presence and talking with him.

“Sure, that’s one way to look at it.”

“Well, what else are we supposed to talk about?”

His eye flicked over to you and he stopped walking abruptly. You stumbled a bit trying to stop as well, turning to face him. He surveyed you long enough that you almost fidgeted under his gaze before he grinned at you.

“We could talk about that crush you have on me.”

Your eyes widened. You felt as though the wind had been knocked out of you as you sputtered, trying to come up with an answer. Of all the things you had expected him to say, that had been at the bottom of the list.

“W-what? Crush? I-I don’t, that’s not, why would you—”

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” he told you and your breath hitched as he closed the space between you. “You may not talk much, but I know you aren’t stupid.”

“I… I…”

You looked frantically around the empty forest, trying to figure out how to respond to his accusations. He was entirely right, of course, but how were you supposed to tell him that? What could you say that wouldn’t sound totally ridiculous?

“You what? Am I wrong?” Your lips parted, but no sound came out. Instead, you shook your head slowly, and then faster. “Good. That makes things way simpler.”

“Sim—”

But before you could finish your question, he silenced you with his lips upon yours. You squeaked in surprise and felt his lips curl into a smile as his arm snaked around your waist. Any thought in your mind vanished past the thought that he was kissing you — Xigbar was kissing you! — and you felt your eyes slip shut. His arm around your waist was firm and possessive, helping to ground you in the reality that this was really happening. When he pulled back you kept your eyes shut, savoring the feeling.

“So… you don’t think I’m… a weirdo?”

Another laugh that sent shivers up your spine.

“Babe, maybe I like weird.”

And with that, you couldn’t help but smile in relief, even as he kissed you again.


	2. Playing Hooky

Chapter 2 by: Mod Amar

\-------------------------------

You glanced at Xigbar out of the corner of your eyes, only for him to catch you looking and send a smirk and a wink your way. Your cheeks flushed and a smile appeared on your face, despite your best attempts to hold it back. The two of you were in the middle of receiving your newest mission from Saix, and you could tell from his face that he wasn’t pleased it seemed you were paying less than perfect attention. You pressed your lips together firmly to try to banish the smile, not entirely successful in your attempts.

Things had been like this ever since Xigbar had confronted you about your feelings on your last mission together. The memory still made you smile, which wasn’t helping you trying to look like you were taking Saix’s debriefing seriously. Truth be told, the words were going in one ear and out the other, and you hoped that Xigbar was paying better attention than you were. Your days since had been spent in as much euphoric bliss as your heartless body could muster, and it was clearly enough to be extremely distracting.

Though the two of you had been sent on separate missions lately, you had been able to find plenty of time to see each other — finding areas of the castle away from prying eyes where you could be just be yourself without worry of judgment or ridicule, and where Xigbar had slowly but surely gotten you more and more comfortable with dropping your guard and speaking your mind. Some days were better than others, but it was something you were working on, and you were proud of your progress. At least with him, you were starting to become more confident.

“Is that clear?”

Saix’s pointed question and the way his unhappy glare found first Xigbar and then you, pinning you down with his disapproval, finally drew you from your reflections. Your cheeks burned again, but this time from a less pleasant experience than sharing a glance with Xigbar. Saix had a way of making you feel self-conscious and small, and not in the same shy way you felt around the other members. The blue-haired Nobody gave you the distinct impression you’d done something wrong more than half the time you were around him. You supposed this time you unintentionally had, as you had no idea what your mission entailed or what you were supposed to do.

“Crystal,” Xigbar said with a sharp grin. In the next moment, his eyes and hands had found you in the familiar way that set your nerves on edge in the best way as he summoned a dark corridor. “You heard the man, Hot Stuff, let’s get to it.”

Still acutely aware of Saix watching the two of you, your smile was tight as you managed to nod at him, and then he whisked the two of you away into the darkness. As you began walking through the corridor, he readjusted his hold on you into something more comfortable for the two of you to walk side by side. He wasn’t much one for holding hands, but he did like holding you, as though he had to make sure that you and everybody else around knew you were his. It wasn’t a fact you were likely to soon forget, but you didn’t mind his arm around you in the slightest.

“So… where are we going?” you asked after a moment of companionable silence.

He looked down at you with a grin, and you felt your cheeks reflexively warm even though you knew you had no reason to be embarrassed.

“What, you mean you weren’t hanging on Scarface’s every word?”

Your cheeks burned hotter. Despite your newfound relationship, Xigbar’s teasing hadn’t let up in the slightest. You were getting better at smiling and shrugging it off, knowing that he didn’t mean anything by it, but sometimes you couldn’t help but let it get to you. You shook your head.

“No… not really.”

Xigbar laughed and pulled you closer to him.

“That’s alright, babe. I wasn’t either. Guy drones on forever, am I right?”

Your eyes widened and your gaze snapped up to him in minute horror.

“So neither of us knows what our mission is?”

“Nope!” he said mirthfully, pulling you along through the corridor.

“We have to go back.”

Stopping abruptly, Xigbar’s arm tugged at you before he could stop too and making you hop forward awkwardly a few steps to keep from falling over.

“You’re joking, right?”

“No.”

Your voice wasn’t as sure as you would have liked it to be, coming out in little more than a whisper.

“And tell him what? That we daydreamed through his monologue? You wanna spend the rest of the day getting chewed out by the guy?”

You paused. The prospect of going back to Saix to tell him that neither of you had listened to his debriefing in the slightest was nothing short of terrifying, even if you couldn’t actually feel the emotion. And the thought of spending the rest of your day getting reprimanded and then punished wasn’t appealing in the slightest, but you weren’t sure what else you could do. Slowly, you shook your head.

“But then what are we supposed to do?”

There was something about Xigbar’s smile, the way it revealed all his teeth in a way that anybody else would have labeled frightening, that stirred forth a sleeping curiosity in you and started you thinking maybe it wasn’t so awful that neither of you had paid attention.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he said. Closing the distance that had sprung between you when you stopped walking, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in close. “You ever played hooky before, Hot Stuff?”

Eyes widening, your hands came up to reflexively land on his chest.

“N-no!”

One of your main goals — in the Organization and in life in general — had always been to fly below the radar. Keep your head down, follow the rules, and just overall go with the flow so that you wouldn’t have any unnecessary attention on yourself. That meant absolutely no playing hooky.

“Then today’s your lucky day, cause that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

“But we can’t,” you protested.

“Why not? You got any other bright ideas?”

You opened your mouth only to hesitate. Besides going back to Saix and telling him you hadn’t listened — and thus enduring lecturing and punishment, which didn’t sound good to you at all — you had to admit that you couldn’t think of anything else to do. Obviously you couldn’t do your mission if you didn’t know what it was, and barring that and going back to the castle, there was nothing to do, except…

“No, not really,” you admitted.

“Then it’s settled,” he said decisively.

And, just like that, the two of you were walking again, through the corridor, though you had no idea where your destination was now that you and Xigbar had decided to play hooky. The thought filled you with equal parts dread and excitement, trying not to think about what the consequences would be when you inevitably had to return to the castle and hear from Saix. You did your best to push that from you mind.

“Where are we going?”

“Hmmm…”

Xigbar stared off into the darkness for a moment, single golden eye narrowed slightly in thought. Then, he brought his hand up and snapped his finger, arm tightening around your waist.

“Bingo.”

In one fluid motion he went from snapping his finger to holding out his hand, the portal at the other end of the dark corridor shifting minutely, the swirling blues and blacks wavering as he changed your destination. Your eyes narrowed slightly at this.

“Were you lying when you said you didn’t know where we were supposed to go?”

“Who, me?”

If he was trying to act nonchalant and throw you off, he failed miserably. You supposed you could say you knew him well enough though to know that he hadn’t been trying to throw you off, he just enjoyed messing with people, and despite your relationship status, you weren’t exempt from that.

“Xigbar,” you said warningly.

“No idea what you’re talking about, babe.”

But his smirk said otherwise. You sighed and rolled your eyes, slowly deciding to go along with it. A day off did sound nice. Saix had been sending you and every other Organization member off on mission after mission lately, and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a day off. Huffing shortly, you looked back up at Xigbar.

“Alright, I guess we can play hooky just this once. Where are we going anyways?”

“You ever been to Neverland?”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. You’d heard about it in passing from other members having their missions there, but you yourself hadn’t been there. “Why? What’s in Neverland?”

“You’ll see.”

The two of you had just reached the end of the corridor when he answered, and in the next moment you were stepping through it, forced to shield your eyes from the sun as you left the darkness behind. You blinked roughly, trying to get your eyes used to the brightness of the world around you, and finding that it was one of the most beautiful worlds you had ever seen. The clear blue sky stretched down to an ocean that sparkled and matched its vibrancy, underneath your feet the ground was packed down earth spattered with patches of deeply green grass. To your left was a forest, and if you looked out onto the ocean you could see, very far down, a large ship moored in a lagoon. Over the whole thing, a stunning rainbow arced.

Your breath caught in your throat.

“It’s beautiful.”

“And the perfect place for an impromptu flying lesson.”

“An impromptu what?” you squeaked.

Xigbar’s smirk did little to reassure you that you’d heard him incorrectly.

“Don’t worry, Hot Stuff. I won’t let you fall.”

And before you could say anything more, his arms tightened around you, and the two of you were plummeting over the edge of the cliff.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 by: Mod Amar

\--------------------------------------

“That was amazing,” you said breathlessly, staring up at the blue sky above you.

When Xigbar had sent the two of you tumbling over the edge of the cliff, you’d clung to him desperately, entirely forgetting for a moment that he could essentially fly. You heard his laughter above your head and realized that instead of crashing against the rocks in the cove beneath you, the two of you were hovering in midair. Your cheeks burned and you buried your face into his chest out of embarrassment.

“Oh, shut it,” you had mumbled half-heartedly.

If you hadn’t been so terrified of falling, you would have given him a punch to his shoulder, but you found yourself unable to move.

Stifling his laughter, Xigbar had ruffled your hair and said, “I told you I wouldn’t let you fall.”

It had taken a lot of coaxing — promises, assurances, and even a little bribery — for you to loosen your grip even a little bit so that you could see the world around you and once you did, your breath caught in your throat with something far different from fear. If the world had looked beautiful from the cliffside, it was downright resplendent from the air. You could still see everything you had noticed when you’d been on the ground, but from your position in the air, you could now see the actual cliffside as well, the way waterfalls crashed down it into the sea, churning up seafoam. You could see the way the water splashed up onto the rocks, sending them a deeper shade of brown and revealing each shimmering facet of it. Or maybe it was just a trick of the light glistening off the soaked rocks. Either way, something within you thrummed at the beauty and majesty of it all.

“It’s…” But you were unable to come up with a word that was even adequate to describe the view he was allowing you to see.

“Whaddya say we have some fun?”

His breath was hot against your ear, and you didn’t even think about it when you nodded. All you did was tighten your arms around him, and then suddenly you were flying.

The memory of it was fresh, but still you knew that already some of the details had faded from it. When you closed your eyes, the rock wall you imagined seemed duller, the rainbow paler, the exhilaration in your stomach smaller. You lifted yourself up on your elbow, looking over at where Xigbar lay with his hands behind his head, and eye closed.

“Thank you,” you said. The words seemed awkward and far too little thanks for what he had just let you experience, but you weren’t sure what else to say, until, “Can we do it again?”

His golden eye peered at you with amusement, his lips twisting so that the expression fit his whole face.

“Does somebody want to play hooky again?”

You felt your face flush, remembering how adamantly you had fought against playing hooky. You still weren’t entirely comfortable with the thought of shirking your responsibilities, but… the memory of how you’d felt in the air with him, nothing above or below you so that you could see forever in any given direction was something you wouldn’t soon forget. Even if the details faded, the feeling of it wouldn’t, and in a life as a Nobody, that was more than you could ask for.

You sat up fully and wrapped your arms around your knees, gazing off over the edge of the cliff at the way the sun was dipping into the sea. If this was what it meant to play hooky, you thought.

“Yeah,” you said quietly, seeing Xigbar’s eye widen minutely from the corner of your eyes. “I do.”

For a moment, the only thing you could hear was the sound of the waterfall thundering down and, off further in the lagoon, the crying of gulls.

“That,” Xigbar said, sitting up abruptly and putting his hand on the back of your head to pull you in for a kiss, “can definitely be arranged, Hot Stuff.”


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 by: Mod Lucky

\------------------------------------

You paced back and forth in front of the closed double doors, hearing the muffled sound of Saix’s firm voice as he lectured Xigbar about your little date of hooky. Deep in your gut, you had known the entire day that this would eventually come to pass. The dream couldn’t last forever and you had so foolishly taken part in it regardless. The dread that had set in when you had returned to the castle to see Saix’s stern glare settled on you… well, it was a rare moment you were thankful to be without a heart so you didn’t have to feel the full effect. Even so, your stomach was still tied in so many knots, you wondered if it would ever wrangle itself free before you threw up.

Saix had demanded to speak with both you and Xigbar as soon as you had returned from what was supposed to have been a mission. Every one of his harsh words struck you, still swirling through your thoughts as Xigbar simply scoffed and nonchalantly waved him off. That was when Saix sent you out so he could speak with Xigbar alone. You had left reluctantly, only actually turning to leave when Xigbar has assured you he’d be fine and it was best to let the man talk and get it out. He’d see you again in no time at all… Yes, no time at all…

Then why had you been standing there for nearly a half hour with Saix still lecturing?

What had begun with Xigbar speaking up every few words Saix got out, you hadn’t heard him speak in quite a while. You had even begun to wonder if he was even still in there at all. Even though you were standing at the only walkable exit, he could have easily used a Corridor if he were trying to avoid seeing you… No, he wouldn’t do that… would he?

That already nauseating knot in your stomach tightened even further as the thought of him trying to avoid you set in. Your worries were cut short as the door swung open. You startled back with a gasp, clasping your hands in front of you as you saw Saix step out of the room. 

He glanced over at you, letting out a heavy breath. “Y/N, you’re still here,” he spoke up, getting a soft, silent nod from you in response. “I assumed you’re waiting here for Xigbar?”

Your hands tightened as you nodded and let out a quiet, “Yes.”

“Well he’s no longer here.” Saix informed you, opening the door wider so you could see inside the empty room. “I sent him back to finish what was supposed to be your mission today.”

“Oh,” you realized, relief washing over you. “Where is it? I’ll join–”

“I think that would be unwise.” He interrupted you, making your voice cut short as he clarified. “After today’s events… you and Xigbar will no longer he partnered for missions.”

Your mouth hung open for a moment in shock, before you quickly pushed your lips back together and averted your gaze. “Is that… really necessary?”

“If it wasn’t, do you really believe I would have decided it?” He asked, his tone grating at you as you simply nodded, not daring to speak against him. “If he continues to be a distraction for you, further measures will be taken. Understood?”

You swallowed, hating the thought of what those further measures could be. Taking in a breath, you brought your eyes back to his, as he awaited your answer. Giving a short nod, you meekly replied, “I understand.”

“Good,” he turned away from you. “I suggest you head back to your quarters for the remainder of the night.”

You didn’t reply as you watched him leave, unsure how to take his words. Letting out a breath, you turned to walk back to your room. The halls were empty, leaving you to your thoughts and worries about what was to come of you and your newly found partnership with Xigbar… It wasn’t as if the two of you had been together long, if you could even call it that. Other than the occasional kiss and flirt, what made him your partner?

Swallowing hard, you shook away the thought, wishing he was there beside you with his witty remarks and infectious laugh that never failed to make you smile. He had a way of washing away everything that reminded you that all you were was a Nobody. 

As you made it back to your room, you leaned against the closed door, looking around the barren room. Nothing seemed to entice you towards it. The bed was far too large and empty to be calling your name. The books and documents at your desk seemed too much of a headache to deal with in your state. Maybe you never should have gone off mission with him…

That thought made your breath catch. All the wonderful things that had happened that day. The laughs, the smiles, flying through the air… Oh, it was magical. No… You wouldn’t take away today for the entire world. 

A soft smile curved your lips at the memories, almost feeling as weightless as you did with him in Neverland.

Something hitting your windowsill startled you with a yelp. You darted your attention to your tall multi paned window that led out to a small balcony to see a glowing arrow hit it again, sticking perfectly between the wood and the glass, before disappearing in a whiff of smoke. The sight pulled your smile into a rare grin as you rushed to the window and pushed the sides open to see Xigbar standing far down on the walkway three floors below. He smirked as your eyes met his, leaning his arrow gun over his shoulder.

“Hey there, Hotstuff.” He greeted you, making your cheeks warm as you smiled back. “Couldn’t find any rocks, so I figured arrows would have to do.”

You laughed softly, bringing your hand to your mouth, as you assured him. “They definitely did the trick.”

“Well that’s good to hear.” His smirk grew into a grin as he motioned his hand towards you. “Are you gonna invite me in?”

“O-Oh,” you realized, just about to eagerly agree before you stopped short. “Wait… what about what Saix said. He said we should keep away from–”

“You really listening to that Scarface?” He interrupted you, making you huff with a breath of amusement as your gaze darted to his own prominent scar across his face. “Since when do you think I care what he says?”

“When it means you could get in trouble for it, I care.” You confessed, your voice soft and quiet enough, you weren’t sure if he could even hear you.

Warm fingers gripped your chin, tipping your gaze up to his as he had taken the moment you looked away to raise to your level. 

“Don’t you worry about that, Babe.” He told you, his voice low and making you warm as all the tension inside of you flitted away. “I’ve got everything under control.”

You smiled, gently tracing your hand along his arm, up to his hand that held your chin. “He lectured you for thirty minutes straight.”

Xigbar scoffed with a soft laugh, “Yeah, and you know what I was thinking about the whole time while he was going off?”

Tilting your head to the side, you asked. “What?”

He grinned before meeting your lips together, humming as you gasped. Your eyes fluttered closed as you melted in his arms, allowing him to pull you closer and lift you off the ground as he easily floated both of you away. When he broke the lock, your eyes stayed closed for a moment longer, as if you were afraid he’d be gone when they reopened.

“I was thinking what I’d do once I got back to you.” He told you.

Your eyes slowly opened, seeing that he had brought both of you to the roof of one of the tallest towers, giving both of you the perfect view of the moon, along with the entire world below. Your breath left you that the view, until Xigbar grabbed your arm and tugged you to sit down along the edge of the rooftop. 

“No one will find us up here.” He assured you, pulling you into his arms. “You can let Scarface squabble all he wants. Nothing keeps me from what I want.”

You smiled, leaning into his arms and closing your eyes as you took a deep breath. It seemed almost unreal how perfect it was to be beside him. You still found yourself questioning if it was a dream whenever you were together. No matter what though, you were determined to make the most out of every moment he gave you.


	5. The Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set further down the timeline.

“Hey Hot Stuff,” Xigbar’s voice made you turn on your heel to see him sauntering over to you, wearing that trademark smirk of his.

You grinned the moment you saw him, a warmth filling your cheeks as you noticed the looks from other Members, before they looked away rolling their eyes. His arms wrapped around the back of your waist, pulling you close and completely disregarding any attention it was drawing from the others.

“Got the afternoon off,” he told you, his smirk growing at the way your eyes slightly widened. “Let’s say you and I have some fun?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but Saix interjected, “Not everyone was given the afternoon off. Y/N has a mission to complete.”

“Sorry,” you sent Xigbar an apologetic smile, reluctantly grabbing his arms to pull out of his grasp.

Xigbar merely tightened his hold on you, motioning towards Demyx. “Send lazy bones over there on the mission.”

“Heeey–” Demyx whined, letting out a huff of breath. “Don’t sign me up for work!”

Saix sighed in exasperation. “You don’t get to rearrange things like that.”

“As if,” Xigbar stepped back from you, motioning his arm towards Saix. “Who’s the higher number here? Pretty sure it’s not you.”

Saix’ eyes narrowed as you stepped forward. “It’s fine. I’ll do the mission.” Turning towards Xigbar, you whispered, “Don’t cause drama.”

His eyebrow quirked up, a mischievous hint melding into his smirk, making you shake your head. You knew exactly what you had provoked. Before you knew what was happening, you were hoisted off the ground and slung over his shoulder. You yelped, your face reddening at everyone’s stares and laughs as Xigbar walked past Saix.

“X-Xigbar, put me down!” You protested, your voice cracking as you kicked your legs, half-heartedly trying to get out of his grasp.

“No can do, Babe,” he told you, summoning a Corridor that sprouted out of the ground. “We have a date.”

You planted your face in your hands, unable to take everyone’s stare that Xigbar had basically kidnapped you to take a vacation. The moment you were taken into the Corridor, the stagnant air of the castle was replaced with a chilling wind. You shivered, looking up from your hands to see a snow laden town from the perch of a red rooftop. Xigbar put you down beside him, so you could stand on your own, simply awaiting your reaction as you looked over your new surroundings.

It was a world you had never been to before. Paper, oval shaped lanterns hung from twine, lining the buildings and dangling across the streets where hundreds of people walked through the town. Each person was dressed in colorful silks with intricate embroidered designs, they held paper fans and held up thin, umbrellas as they stopped at the shops and went towards a palace far out in the distance. An unfamiliar, but beautiful music played around you, matching the excitement of the townsfolk.

“Where… are we?” You finally spoke up, looking towards Xigbar, where he watched you with crossed arms.

He smirked, outstretching his arms, “Welcome to the Land of Dragons.”

You blinked, “Are there actually dragons here?”

He shrugged, “Beats me. But there is a festival today. Figured we might check it out.”

“That… actually sounds sort of romantic.” You sent him a lopsided smile.

“Who said I couldn’t be romantic?” He asked, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him.

You giggled, lacing your hands behind his neck and meeting his grin with one of your own. “Don’t think I just forgot you basically kidnapped me.”

“I don’t hear you complaining.” He pointed out, playfully bopping your nose.

“Yeah, well you’re dealing with those consequences when we get back, not me.” You countered, glancing towards his lips, before looking back to his golden gaze.

“I’ll just talk my way out of it.” He told you, leaning forward to close the distance between you, “Like I always do.”

You barely managed out the breath of amusement, before his lips met with yours. His arms tightened around you, the sweet, innocent kiss swiftly turning passionate, as it often did with him. You hummed in his mouth, your tongues dancing against the other, before he suddenly pulled away, leaving both of you breathless.

“You wanting to make out all night, or actually see where I brought you?” He asked.

“Um, both would be good.” You told him, your chest fluttering at the way his smirk grew.

“We’ll make sure that happens.” He assured you, before looking up towards the darkened sky. “Man, it really does get dark here fast.”

You looked up with him, seeing the stars beginning to shimmer in the sky. “It’s probably a bit later here than it was back at the castle.”

“We better get going then, the show’s about to start.”

“The show?” You repeated, looking back to him and gasping when you saw him off the ground.

A purple aura covered his feet, where he stood completely off the roof, floating in mid air. He held out his hand to you, and you shook your head, stepping back.

“Are you serious?” You asked him with a laugh.

“What, afraid of heights?” He teased, making your eyes narrow.

“More afraid of falling to my death.” You clarified, looking over the edge of the roof to the town far below. “What if your powers don’t work on me?”

“Then I guess you’re just gonna have to trust me” He told you, holding out his hand again.

You looked towards his outstretched hand, taking in a breath. With a hesitance, you reached out your own, slipping your fingers into his palm. He grabbed you with a grin, pulling you forward until you stumbled off the roof. You gasped, clinging to him and burying your face in the crook of his neck.

He chuckled, “You alright there, Hot Stuff?”

“F-Fine,” you stammered, pulling back from him ever so slowly until you saw the same purple aura around his feet, surrounding your own.

You stepped back from him, making sure to still keep your hand on his arm. The world was beneath your feet, people walking through the town with no idea that two strangers walked above them. Despite being in the air, it felt as if you were on solid ground. You couldn’t stop the grin from growing as you beamed a smile to Xigbar.

“This is amazing!” You gushed, getting a laugh from him in response.

“You haven’t seen nothin’ yet.” He assured you, grabbing your hand from his arm and walking forward,

He walked up an invisible set of stairs, going higher and higher into the air. It was a surreal experience, walking in midair, above the streets and rooftops. You almost wondered if he could take you up to the stars, until he came to a stop where you could perfectly see the palace out in the distance.

“This is breathtaking.” You whispered, taking a moment before you looked over at him. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze was focused on the palace, as if he were planning something. He blinked when you called him out and looked over at you with a smirk. “Nothin’ at all. Just think we could be closer.”

You opened your mouth to ask why, but was cut off as a Corridor surrounded you and dissipated right beside the palace, where a crowd of thousands was gathering along the ground. Xigbar let out a breath, finally satisfied as he fell back, lounging in the air. Grabbing your wrist, he pulled you down with him. You laid down next to him, looking over the gorgeous landscape and trying to figure out what everyone was waiting for.

A high-pitched whistling caught your attention and you caught site of a small glowing rocket twirling through the sky. It burst with a echoing bang that made you jump, before your eyes widened in wonderment at the explosion of bright, beautiful colors. Your lips parted, your eyes mesmerized as one rocket after another flew into the sky, erupting into various hues of color.

“W-what is this…?” You barely managed the words out amidst your shock.

Xigbar chuckled, running his hand along your back. “The show.”

You looked back at him, the bursts of color casted over him with each explosion as he genuinely smiled back at you. With a grin, you pounced on top of him, both of you laughing as you met your lips together. He rolled you onto your back, leaning over you as he deepened the kiss, before pulling away the moment you ever so slightly moaned.

“This is perfect,” you told him, still grinning as you saw the bursts of color behind him, framing his face above yours.

He hummed, kissing you shortly before he rolled back beside you and pulled you close. “I think I’d have to agree.” He muttered against your hair, his voice vibrating through you.

You nestled in against him, your grin growing even more as you both enjoyed the show.


	6. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also set further down the timeline as an NSFW chapter was requested

Written by: Mod Lucky

\------------------------------

The surface of the lake sparkled brilliantly, radiating from the reflection of the setting sun. You sat along the edge of a jutted out rock, your legs dangling over the side as your bare feet dipped and delicately splashed the cool water. Xigbar sat beside you, one of his feet dangling off the side of the rock next to yours, the other bent up so he could lean his elbow against his knee as he rambled. Your head rested along his shoulder, listening to the way his voice resonated through him and into you as he spoke. He didn’t talk about anything in particular, just sharing thoughts and anecdotes about past missions.

The two of you had spent the day in Neverland. It had become a haven of sorts for both of you ever since that first day he had convinced you to play hooky from a mission. Every day off was spent there together, and the occasional hooky if the two of you managed to get placed on a mission together, which rarely happened ever since Saix discovered what was going on. The world itself still blew you away every time. It was enchanting and served as the perfect place to hide away from the responsibilities as a Member of the Organization.

“Thinking about something?” Xigbar asked you a direct question, making you blink as you realized you had zoned out.

“O-Oh, sorry,” you apologized, squeezing his hand beside you. “I was just thinking that we should probably be heading back soon.”

He sighed heavily, “Yeah, probably should.”

You opened your mouth to reply, to assure him – as you usually did – that the two of you would be back before he knew it, but just as the words were forming, your headrest was gone and had slipped into the water. With a startled gasp, you looked over, seeing Xigbar swimming through the blue water, before he popped back up right in front of you. He was still in his coat, the thick leather soaked from the water. It seemed unbearably heavy just from looking at it.

He smirked up at your confused expression, running his hands along your legs. “But don’t you think we have time for one more thing?”

“What sort of— AH Xigbar!!” You yelped as Xigbar grabbed your wrists and tugged you into the water with him.

You completely submerged, before swimming up to the surface, coughing and sputtering as Xigbar merely snickered. “Not funny,” you told him, seemingly attempting to scold him, even though your mouth was curved into a half-smile.

“Whoopsie-daisy,” he sighed, grabbing the soaked sleeve of your coat. “Looks like we can’t head back yet. We’re drenched.”

Despite his obvious manipulation of the situation, you couldn’t help but bubble into a laugh. “All because you pulled me in.”

“Ah, details, who cares about those?” He waved you off, sending you a cheeky grin paired with a wink as he grabbed the zipper to his coat and began pulling it down.

You averted your eyes, not trusting yourself not to stare as his tanned torso became bared. The fabric crumbled atop the rock you had just been perched on, leaving him just in his pants as he swam and closed the distance between you.

“I can’t imagine you want to swim in this.” His finger hooked under your zipper.

A feverish blush covered your face at his implications, causing a stuttering mess of sounds to escape you as your eyes danced around, desperately trying to find something to focus on rather than Xigbar shirtless in front of you.

“Fine then,” he dropped the zipper, putting up his hands as he turned and swam away. Turning onto his back, he floated along the lake, his hands laced behind his head. “Have it your way.”

You looked after him, noticing – despite your best efforts – the water droplets glimmering on his skin, accentuating the indents of his muscles and the faded scars from his past. Letting out a breath, you turned your gaze, grabbing your zipper and fidgeting it between your fingers. The two of you had been together for a while now, and it wasn’t like Xigbar had ever kept it secret how much he wanted you. He had never pushed the issue though and you weren’t one to initiate something like that, especially for the first time. Half of you expected that when Xigbar couldn’t handle the wait anymore, he’d push you against the wall without warning and just have his way with you. And if you were truly honest with yourself, you wouldn’t have minded that.

Clearing your throat, you shook the thought away, wading to the shore of the lake and climbing out. You grabbed Xigbar’s coat, hanging it over a low hanging branch of a tree that was beside your boots, before you grabbed your zipper, once again. A nervous anxiety fluttered in your stomach, one that you were generally used to when you were around Xigbar, but something about this moment caused it to swirl even deeper. Making sure your back was still to the lake, you shut your eyes and tugged down the zipper. There wasn’t much underneath, just a simple bra and tight pants that were admittedly also soaked and way too tight to keep swimming in. As you slung the coat over the branch beside Xigbar’s you heard him whistle in appreciation. You froze, that same blush returning to your cheeks.

“Man, I was missing out.” Xigbar spoke up, “Who knew you were ten times hotter without that coat on?”

You huffed with amusement, glancing over your shoulder at him and seeing his signature smirk as his eye danced over you.

“Gonna be keeping those pants on, too?” He asked, motioning towards your legs as his eyebrow quirked up.

If he had his way, you’d completely strip down until your were completely naked for him. Not that you didn’t want him to ever see you like that, but there was no way you were just going to pull it all off while he watched. Either way, you supposed you could manage to take off your pants, they were uncomfortable as it was.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you attempted to be coy as you undid your buckle and pulled them down.

You grabbed the pants, putting them over the branch before you turned around, feeling akin to a deer in headlights as Xigbar blatantly checked you out. He outstretched his hand towards you, which you hesitantly took and allowed him to lead you back into the water. His arms wrapped around you, settling around your hips once you were back in front of him.

“See, isn’t that much better?” He asked, pulling you even closer and you could have sworn you felt something between the two of you, rubbing against your leg.

Despite the way the butterflies in your stomach were fluttering out of control, you slid your hands to his shoulders, loving the way his muscles felt beneath your fingertips. “Much, much better.” You whispered, your breath catching as he leaned forward and kissed your jawline.

“Want to make it even more amazing?” He murmured against your skin as he kissed down your neck to your ear.

Your grip tightened along his shoulders, a throb of anticipation and curiosity pulsing through you.

“I promise to make it worth your while.” He added, his breathy voice right against your ear, making you shiver as your eyes fluttered closed.

A faint whimper came up your throat as his hands traced up the sides of your waist, while he continued to kiss along your neck. He was gentle, yet at the same time, you could feel the ferocity in his touch. How much he was holding back so he could make sure he wasn’t overwhelming you or forcing you into it. A nibble to your skin, made a sharp gasp jump out of you as you rushed back to reality.

“Well?” He asked, just before suckling the tender skin where he had bitten you.

You swallowed hard, your hands going from his shoulders to around his back, one of your hands gripping the back of his head as you nodded. “Yes.”

That was all you needed to say as Xigbar pulled back with a devilish grin, just before crashing your lips together. You moaned in surprise, melting in his touch as his hands roved up and down the sides of your waist, memorizing every inch in case he never had the chance to do this to you again. The kiss broke in a rush, leaving you breathless as your head slung back and he went to kissing your neck and collarbone. The light nips turned into sharp bites and sucks that caused little jolts of pain mixing with the excitement and pleasure of everything else he was doing to you. With a grind of his hips against you, it hit you all at once what had been rubbing against you when you had first came back into the water. The realization made you moan, your entire body warming that of all people, Xigbar was having that reaction to you.

Cool, wet stone met along your back as Xigbar pushed you back against it. Your eyes opened, seeing that he had teleported both of you in a shallow cave under the waterfall. Sparkling beams of sunlight trickled through the pouring water, creating the illusion of a rainbow around the cave. There was hardly a chance to take in the beautiful sight as Xigbar’s hands grabbed your breasts. You gasped, your back arching as he squeezed them and rolled your nipples between his fingers. Even through your bra, he could feel just how hard they were, begging to be worshipped. He hummed against your neck, feeling the curve of his smirk from your vocal reaction to his touch.

He pulled back to look into your half lidded eyes, his hand tracing behind you to unclasp your bra. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about this before.”

“T-Thought about what?” you asked, shivering from both the cool water and the anticipation of what he was going to do to you.

His smirk grew as he met your lips together for a lingering kiss. “What do you think, Hot Stuff?”

You couldn’t help but grin at his nickname, the butterflies in your chest fluttering out of control. “I have, too…” you admitted, biting your lip as your bra slid off your arms.

The smallest part of you worried as it floated away along the water’s surface, but all worry faded at Xigbar’s wolfish grin as he looked you over. You watched him, lips parting as his hands traced along your sides, as if teasing before he actually touched your breasts.

“Well…?” you asked, sucking in a breath when he met his gaze back with yours.

His grin grew as his thumbs brushed over your nipples, making you bit back a moan. “Better than I ever imagined.” He told you, watching you melt as he continued to roll your nipples between his fingers.

You whined, your face turning away, unable to hold his gaze as he toyed with you. His lips met back along your neck as he chuckled from your reaction, and you could feel his voice vibrating through you all the way down to between your legs, where he had continued rolling his hips against you.

His hands left your breasts, making you whine before you realized they were hooking under your panties to pull them off. They slid off with ease under the water, also floating away along with your discarded bra. You were too entranced by him to be the slightest self conscious for being completely naked. Instead, you allowed your voice to resonate throughout the cave as his hand grabbed between your legs.

It was obvious he wasn’t able to hold himself back much longer as he swept his fingers between your folds for a few seconds as his other hand undid his own pants. He bent down as he worked, taking your breast into his mouth and pressing his tongue against you. You moaned sharply, your back arching to press yourself even further against him. His hand left your folds to pull down his pants and boxers entirely, right before he stood back up, his gaze locked with yours.

Both of your chests heaved, a flush warm on your cheeks as you looked the other over.

“Ready, Hot Stuff?” he asked you, his hands on either side of you against the cave wall.

Taking in a shaky breath, you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, just before kissing him. “Ready.”

You were at the perfect height for him. There was no need to hoist you up, or bend you over, his hardened shaft rubbed perfectly between your legs, teasing your entrance in the cool water. You bit your lip from the subtle throb from his touch as you reached your hand under the water and gripped his cock. His breath hitched, his gaze still locked with yours as you gently pumped his length and situated it at your entrance. He smirked when you nodded and slid inside of you, his hands clenching against the wall from the sensation, while your lips parted and a breathless moan escaped.

Your hips met, the stretch of his cock fully inside of you making your body tremble with pleasure. Despite not needing the extra height, you couldn’t help but wrap your legs around him, allowing the water to help you up before his hands gripped your hips. His gaze stayed on you, his smirk growing as he grinded his hips in and out of you. Each meeting of your hips made your voice spike higher, pressing your body against his and leaning your foreheads together.

His breaths were shallow, mixed with soft moans and grunts as the pace quickened. Your lips crashed together, his tongue sliding and shoving against your own as he groaned in your mouth. Every thrust sent you closer to the edge, each slide of his tongue against yours and the vibration of his voice inside of you sent you reeling. You rolled your hips against his, matching his rhythm and desperately trying to keep up as he became rougher and erratic.

The kiss broke as your head slung back against the cave wall, a long, low cry ripping out of you as with one final push your dam broke. Xigbar’s lips went to your neck, suckling and biting harder than he had ever done before until his hips jerked forward and froze. He moaned against your neck, his fingers digging into your hips as he climaxed alongside you.

Your body went limp once the orgasm had run its course. Xigbar rested his head against your shoulder, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch a breath. Little by little, is grip on your hips loosened as your legs unwound around him. He feathered kissed along your collarbone, making you hum as you ran your fingertips along his back.

“How was that?” He asked you, pulling back to look into your eyes.

The corner of your lips tipped into a smile. Without a reply, you met your lips together for a sweet, lingering kiss that he hummed into.

When you pulled away, he chuckled breathily. “I’ll take that as you loved it.”

Your smile grew into a grin, “Definitely.”


	7. Chapter 5

You let out a quiet breath, keeping to the alleyway between the markets along the sandy streets. Vibrant fabric draped over the tops of shops, each one with a vendor that wore a large grin as they attempted to sway passerbyers to peruse their goods. You hadn’t paid much mind to their products and tried to keep out of the way of the bustling town. It was far too crowded for your liking. Every person and child with an agenda and busy schedule, shoving through the wall of people to make it to their desired shop. Even as you stayed near the walls and alleys, you were still shoved side to side every few seconds.

Of all the worlds to send you on a mission to, you weren’t sure why it had to be Agrabah. You much rathered the missions that sent you to calming forests or deserted castles, not to the middle of an overpopulated city where the sun was at least ten times hotter than you would have preferred. Your skin nearly baked under the heat, and the thick sleeves of your coat hardly helped anything. Leaning against a wall, you hid under a thin strip of shade in attempt to cool yourself off. 

Ever since you and Xigbar were caught for playing hooky a few weeks before, you had been sent on missions alone. At first, you appreciated being on your own, but then there were missions like this… missions that you were certain were given to you on purpose out of spite. You were supposed to check on the Princess of Heart, Jasmine, make sure that she was safe and that the world was secured from Heartless. Of course, in a world like Agrabah, there was Darkness hidden in nearly every corner. The Darkness in people’s hearts made every mission there a long one. Even with your inclination to be alone, you couldn’t deny the want to have someone there to help you pass the time. 

As usual, that thought led you to think about Xigbar and how he would be completely unfazed by the busy marketplace. He’d use his powers to walk over the entire place, just to show off and force you into the air as he loved to do. You sighed with a heavy breath, looking out at the market and wishing he was there with you. 

Since that night on the rooftops over the World That Never Was, you hardly saw the other. It was rare you’d see him around the castle and you never saw him on missions. He’d come to you on his own schedule; whether that’d be waiting outside your window after a long mission or out of the blue on your day off. The visits were brief, but never failed to make you smile and erase any uncertainty inside of you that he was losing interest in you. Whatever he was up to that kept him preoccupied, it didn’t interfere with his so called, feelings for you. Even so, you often wished you could see him more.

A pool of Darkness dripped behind you, swirling into existence and forcing you out of your daydreams. Summoning your weapon, you turned to see the glowing eyes of Heartless peering out from the aura. You scowled, rushing forward to take them out with ease. As the last one was slain and green orbs replaced their bodies in a scatter, you sensed the swell of Darkness around you, followed by the screams and gasps from townsfolk. You spun on your heel, seeing Heartless crawling in between the shops in the market and slashing their sharpened claws at the panicking crowd. 

You groaned, your hands tightening around your weapons. It seemed like your mission was far from over. Wasting no time, you went to work dispatching the little creatures of Darkness, paying litting mind to the people pushing past you as they retreated. You ran through the streets, taking one creature out after another for what seemed like an eternity, and with each kill, more appeared. 

The familiar sound of a Corridor sprouted behind you, making you gasp as you spun around and seeing none other than Xigbar left in its wake.

“Seems like you could use a hand.” He smirked, leaning his arrow gun over his shoulder.

Your lips curved into a smile, tension and exhaustion wisping away as you nodded. You weren’t sure how he knew you were in trouble, but he had arrived at the perfect time. Rather than reply, you closed the distance between you and met your lips with his. He was the one person that could bring out that rare confidence in you and right then, you wanted to express just how thankful you were to his arrival. 

He smirked against your lips, kissing you back for just a moment before he broke the lock, chuckling, “I’m happy to see you, too, Hot Stuff, but let’s save that for after the battle.”

You blinked, the reality that the streets were still filled with Heartless dawning on you. “O-Oh, yes, of course,” you cleared your throat, stepping back as you pushed your hair behind your ear. 

“I think this calls for a bird’s eye view.” He winked at you with his one eye, disappearing in a flash and reappearing several feet above the market place. 

You looked up, shielding your eyes from the direct sunlight with your arm, barely able to see his silhouette. Glowing arrows rained from above, going directly to the scurrying Heartless and wisping them away in smoke. Your lips parted at the sight, entranced by the sight. It was breathtaking to watch him. A clatter of falling pots behind you broke you out of the trance, making you summon your weapons and turn to take out the oncoming Heartless. 

Xigbar joined your side after his attack from above, linking his arm with yours and using his powers to aid in hoisting you up in the air. It was exhilarating to have him fighting at your side. The two of you worked in perfect harmony, cornering the Heartless, using each other’s abilities to enhance the other’s. Before long, the Heartless had finally been vanquished. The last pool of Darkness dissipated in the wind, wisping away and leaving the sandy streets desolate. 

A shaking breath left you, a gleam of sweat over your skin as your hair stuck to your face and neck. Despite the disheveled state, you were smiling, nearly grinning as you and Xigbar realized you were finally alone. 

“Now where were we?” He asked, hooking his arm around your waist and pulling you towards him. 

You yelped, bubbling into a giggle as he dipped you back, before meeting your lips together. He hummed against your lips, pulling you closer as your arms wrapped around his shoulders. The kiss broke with both of you breathily laughing, his head barely resting against yours. 

“That’s what I call a good time.” He told you, grinning.

You chuckled, “Killing Heartless all afternoon?”

“Usually, no,” he shrugged, pulling back so he could fully see your face as you watched him with an amused and lovestruck smile. “But with a hottie like you fighting with me? Definitely.”

You scoffed, unable to keep your lips from splitting into a grin or the extra warmth that crept up your ears. “How did you know I needed you?”

“Don’t you always?” He replied, a devilish smirk on his lips.

“If I did, I feel like you’d be around a lot more often.” You countered and by a quirk of his eyebrow, you could tell he was surprised by your confident reply. 

“Valid point, but also, irrelevant.” He grabbed your hand from his shoulder, kissing along your knuckles. “The real question is, why are you here on a mission by yourself?”

“You can thank Saix for that.” You sighed. “He’s been sending me on solo missions.”

The curve of his smirk softened as his eye narrowed in thought. 

“Is something wrong?” You asked, noticing his thoughtful expression melt away at your words.

“Nothing at all,” he assured you, pulling on your hand to tug you closer and kiss you deeply. 

You gasped in his mouth from the sudden passion, but melted to his whims as your eyes slid closed. 

He broke the lock well before you had your fill and you kept your gaze fixed on his lips, fighting the urge to close the distance once again. “Just thinking that a pretty thing like you shouldn’t be out here by yourself.”

“W-well,” you licked your lips, your mouth going dry, “you’re here now, aren’t you?”

“Sure am,” he grinned, answering you by closing the distance between your lips, once again. 

The clamour and chatter of townsfolk coming out of hiding interrupted your trance, reminding both of you that you were far from alone. Breaking the kiss, Xigbar’s eye danced over your face. 

“What say you to ditching this place and taking another trip to Neverland?” He suggested.

Your smile broke into a grin as you nodded and kissed him shortly. “I’d love that.”


	8. Chapter 6

The castle was quiet when you returned from your mission — a solo journey to Halloween Town that was almost as bad as going to Agrabah, but for entirely different reasons. Agrabah was miserably hot, sandy, and generally unbearable. Halloween Town was essentially the exact opposite, but that wasn’t what made it awful. What made it awful was being alone with your memories, replaying over and over how Xigbar had first coaxed you to reveal your feelings. You couldn’t help but wander through the forest every time, letting your eyes similarly wander to the clearing where the two of you had stopped and he’d kissed you for the first time.

Thinking about that first kiss still made your lips quirk up in a smile, and made you also think back to every kiss since then. Being with Xigbar was doing something wonderful to you, helping to diminish your shyness and self-consciousness, though it still reared up sometimes. Even now, walking through the quiet castle, the thought of him buoyed your steps.

It wasn’t strange for the castle to be so quiet, though you usually managed to have a run in with at least one of the other members by now, and so you didn’t think anything of it. At least, not until you got to the Gray Room and saw that Saix was unusually missing. Not seeing any of the other members in the Gray Room was normal, especially when everybody was out on assigned missions, or… You pulled your thoughts away from Castle Oblivion, and the still somewhat mysterious circumstances of their deaths at the hands of the Keyblade wielder. You didn’t like to think about what might have happened if you or Xigbar had been assigned there, or what you would do if faced with the Keyblade wielder himself.

You looked up from the ground and around the Gray Room again, making sure that there was in fact nobody there, even though there weren’t exactly nooks and crannies for people to hide in there. Saix was still noticeably absent, as you’d known he would be. Frowning, you tried to figure out what you should do. It was required that you report the details of your mission to Saix, and yet, how could you if he wasn’t even there in the first place? You supposed you should go looking for him.

Or, a tiny voice in the back of your head whispered, the one that most often came out when you were around Xigbar, you could use this as an excuse to look for Xigbar.

Your eyes darted around the room, as though worried one of the many people not there would be able to hear your thoughts. In the next moment you scoffed at yourself. Not one of the members had that ability and if you ran into anybody in the castle, including Saix, you could just use the excuse that you were looking for him to report on your mission. And if you didn’t find him, that wasn’t your fault, right?

Right.

With a small smile to yourself and the thought that Xigbar would be proud of you — though whether or not that was an objectively good thing, you didn’t know — you turned on your heel and left the Gray Room. You continued smiling as you walked through the hallways towards his room. Your meetings had mostly been on his terms, when he was able to see you or decided to crash your missions. It would be funny, you thought, to turn the tables and surprise him for a change.

Yet when you got to his room and knocked on the door, there was no answer. You stood there for a few moments, waiting for him to answer, thinking that maybe he just needed a bit of time to get to the door. No, that was silly, the man could teleport. How much time did he really need to answer the door? You bit your lip when, after a few more moments of waiting, he still hadn’t appeared. The two of you had spent that day in Neverland together… Just thinking about it made your face warm. But surely that meant it was okay for you to just walk in.

Without thinking about it any further than that, you knocked again and opened the door before you could lose your nerve. 

“Xigbar?”

There was no answer and your breath left you in a rush. You were simultaneously relieved and disappointed, already regretting your barging in, but the feeling quickly fading as disappointment took over. 

He wasn’t there.

Frowning, you took a step further into the room before sighing at yourself. It was exactly the same as in the Gray Room. There was very obviously nobody there, but you still didn’t quite believe it. It seemed impossible to you that Xigbar was absolutely nowhere to be found at all times. 

You swept your glance around the room one last time, and then you backed out and closed the door. Turning around, you pressed your back against the door, wondering what you should do now. The logical thing would be to go back to your room, or even check the Gray Room to see if Saix had returned, but you didn’t want to do either of those things.

Instead, you began wandering aimlessly, restless. In a way you had come to depend on Xigbar’s company. He filled your existence with something other than missions and nothingness. He had to be around here somewhere, you just didn’t know where to start looking. Just when you were about to give up and go back to your room to wait for him to come to you, you heard the low murmur of voices. You didn’t normally let curiosity get the best of you, but with the castle so quiet and Saix so strangely missing from the Gray Room, you allowed yourself to follow the voices to the Round Room.

This was also strange — you didn’t know that the Round Room was ever used besides during meetings for the entire Organization. For a brief moment, you thought that you had forgotten about a scheduled meeting, but upon thinking back further you knew that you weren’t. So who was using the Round Room?

As you got closer, the low rumble of voices became easier to identify, along with the words they were saying.

“And Axel still has not returned from Castle Oblivion?” Xemnas asked.

“No,” Saix answered. “It would seem the castle is not eager to give up its secrets.”

Well, you supposed that answered the question of where Saix was. But wait, Axel? You had thought he died along with the other members stationed there, and you knew Roxas thought the same. Why would the Superior let you think one of your own was dead? 

You were starting to have the sneaking suspicion that you had stumbled upon a clandestine meeting you had no business listening in on. Biting your lip again, you only got one step away from the door before a third voice stopped you in your tracks.

“We sure Sparky ain’t just enjoying a little vacay?”

Xigbar.

Today was a day for indulging your curiosity, it seemed. You turned back around, glancing surreptitiously up and down the hallway to make sure that nobody was coming before pressing your ear against the door. Was this where Xigbar disappeared to whenever you couldn’t find him?

“Unlikely.” Saix did not say impossible. “Axel understands the importance of this mission, as well as the consequences of failure.”

You gasped sharply. There was silence, and you were left to wonder what exactly those consequences were. What kind of punishment was there for Organization members who failed their missions, other than destruction or being turned into a dusk? You pulled your head away from the door, knowing you should leave, but hesitating as you thought of Xigbar there on the other side, calmly discussing, and even, it seemed, hinting for the destruction of another member. He was worlds away from the man who had flown you around Neverland.

“Perhaps,” Xemnas finally said, “number eight needs to be reminded of the consequences.”

If you’d had a heart, those words would have stopped it dead. You knew there were consequences for failure, you had just never seen them implemented, at least not at the hands of anyone in the Organization. The members in Castle Oblivion had failed, but that had been due to the Keyblade Master and his friends. Not somebody you deeply cared for.

This time, when you backed away from the door, you kept going, starting off slowly, somehow having the presence of mind to make sure that your footsteps wouldn’t be heard. Then, logical thought returned to you and you summoned a dark corridor, rushing through it and to the safety of your room. It was empty and quiet, but there was a ringing in your ears that wouldn’t stop. You couldn’t stop yourself from remembering Xigbar’s voice, the cold amusement at Axel shirking his duties and paying the price for it.

Why would he…? 

You weren’t sure if you could bring yourself to ask him about it. You weren’t sure if you should. Suddenly, the bubble of relative bliss you’d been living in was popped, and you weren’t sure of anything anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

Though it had to have been at least an hour since you’d finished your mission and were supposed to RTC, you couldn’t tell for sure how much time had passed. You wandered around Agrabah, taking in the sights and sounds that you were beginning to know very well. A few of the townspeople even waved to you, despite the fact that your visits were supposed to go unnoticed. With the amount of time you’d been spending there lately, the world was actually starting to grow on you. You could still live without the sand somehow finding its way into places it should never be, but everything else had taken on a new light.

Your feet moved mechanically under you, taking you in aimless paths through the Bazaar and the streets of the city. The Heartless you’d fought that day had you exhausted, but still you couldn’t stop. You were worried that if you did, Xigbar would find you. The thought should have excited you, and normally it did, but ever since you’d overheard his conversation with Xemnas and Saix you’d been avoiding him.

This had actually improved Saix’s mood somewhat, now that he no longer had to scold you for shirking your responsibilities. For a while, you had been paranoid that he would realize exactly why you were avoiding Xigbar and what you must have overheard, but your worries were for nothing. He said nothing about your aversion, only the rare comment that you were doing quite well now that you had no distractions. You would then mumble your thanks and move on, hoping and praying that Xigbar wouldn’t choose that night to seek you out.

You knew eventually you would have to see him again, and so you spent your days trying to prepare for this eventuality. You couldn’t let him know that you’d overheard the conversation. It was clearly only meant for the select few who had actually been involved in it, and that didn’t include you. Echoes of dread stayed in the back of your mind, knowing that when you did see him again, it would probably end with you cracking under the pressure. You could try to act natural, but you honestly didn’t have that much faith in yourself to fool him.

Sighing, you looked up at the cloudless desert sky. You couldn’t stay in Agrabah forever, no matter how much you wanted to. The Organization would send somebody looking for you, and with your luck, it would end up being Xigbar anyways. You made your way back to a secluded alleyway and raised your hand, summoning a dark corridor to take you directly to the Gray Room. It wasn’t until the darkness dispersed and you could see that the only person in the room was, thankfully, Saix that you could release the breath you’d been holding.

You crossed the room towards him and relayed the details of your mission quickly before turning away to flee back to your room. You froze completely when Saix spoke.

“It’s good to see you taking your duties seriously.”

You looked over your shoulder, trying to quickly gauge from his expression if this was some sort of hint, but he only looked as serious and unreadable as ever. Only sparing enough time to nod curtly at him, you continued on in your escape. It wasn’t as if Xigbar didn’t know where your room was, but you still felt somewhat safer within its walls. And surely… surely if he were to come to your room and discover what you’d overheard, there would be no reason to fear consequences from him within the castle.

The very idea that you were worried about him attacking you sent your stomach churning. It was stupid. You couldn’t stand the thought of having so little faith in him that you believed he might hurt you. But then again, you’d never thought he’d so amusedly contemplate another member’s demise, either. There were still days where you wondered why Xigbar had chosen you, what he liked about you, despite his assurances and the progress you’d made.

The door of your room shut behind you and you leaned against it heavily. Pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes, you groaned loudly.

“Not exactly the reaction I was looking for.”

You froze again, breath caught in your throat. For a split second you thought if you didn’t move, you could pretend that you hadn’t heard his voice, that he wasn’t here, just as you’d feared he would be. In the next moment, you jumped, feeling his hands wrap around your wrists to pull your own hands away from your face. He looked you in the eye, expression still amused as he raised an eyebrow at you. You swallowed thickly.

“S-sorry,” you managed, unable to hold his gaze. “I’m just… tired, from today’s mission.”

The excuse sounded flimsy, even to your ears, and you knew it was only a matter of time before you crumbled completely under the pressure. It was like a horrible caricature of the day he’d gotten you to confess your feelings for him.

“I really just want to go to bed,” you said quickly, hoping that you could convince him to leave so that you could put off revealing your secret a little bit longer.

“Ouch, Hot Stuff. You really wanna shut me down like that when I haven’t seen you in weeks?”

You shrugged, still not meeting his gaze as you gave a half-hearted tug to try to free your hands. His grip was firm and immovable.

“I’m just really—”

“Tired, I got it.” Though you weren’t looking at him, you could hear the frown in his voice, and cursed the fact that he knew you better than anybody.

“Yeah,” you said, giving another tug at your wrists. “So I really just—”

“Cut the crap,” he scoffed. “You think I don’t know when I’m getting the runaround? Something’s up with you.”

You stiffened.

“Nothing’s up. I really am just—”

“Y/N.” You’d never heard him say your name so firmly, and your gaze darted back up before you could even think to stop yourself. You pursed your lips tightly shut, unable to look away from his displeased expression. “What’s going on?”

The words flew through your mind on repeat, about how you’d overheard him with Xemnas and Saix, how you couldn’t believe how cavalierly he’d talked about destroying one of his comrades, how it had made you doubt him despite yourself. But you couldn’t say a word. It felt as though they were all stuck in your throat, and you vaguely wondered if you could vomit. You hadn’t since before you’d become a Nobody, but you felt like you were on the verge of it. As his expression turned annoyed, you tore your gaze from his again.

“Y/N, spill it.”

And with that command you finally did.

“I heard you,” you confessed.

“Heard me what?” he asked in exasperated confusion.

“I heard you, talking to Xemnas and Saix. About how Axel was enjoying a ‘vacay’, and that maybe he needed to be reminded of the ‘consequences’.” 

You wished your voice came out stronger than you felt. It was meek, quiet, and you couldn’t stand that part of yourself. Xigbar had been helping you gain confidence, but ever since you’d overheard that conversation, it was like you had been backsliding. You had no idea what reaction to expect from him, anger maybe, but not this: Xigbar laughed. Your gaze darted up again, and this time it was your turn to be confused.

“Wha—?”

“That’s what’s got your panties in a bunch? That I said Axel was enjoying a vacation when he shouldn’t be?”

Your mouth opened and then just as quickly closed.

When it said it like that, of course it sounded foolish. He’d never said that he’d carry out the “reminder”, he wasn’t even the one that suggested it. 

“And-and then Xemnas said—”

“Yeah, babe, but I’m not him, am I?”

“N-no, but…”

“But what? So what I said he’s enjoying a little vacay. Playing hooky. Don’t we do that all the time?”

He raised an eyebrow at you expectantly, which only threw you more off balance.

“Well, yes, but…” This time he didn’t interrupt you, instead waiting for you to speak. “But it sounded like it was something really important for Lord Xemnas, and he was not happy at all, and what were you even doing there in the first place? I didn’t know Lord Xemnas trusts you so much and—”

You were cut off by him laughing again.

“What, did you think I was number two around here for no reason?”

Now, he looked more amused than anything as you stopped short, all of your arguments and doubts silenced by his reaction. All of the unease and worry you’d felt began to fall away to instead make way unpleasant embarrassment. 

“I… I guess not,” you admitted.

“Exactly,” he said with a sharp grin. “So don’t you worry your pretty little head about what I may or may not being doing for Lord Xemnas.” When you bit your lip instead of answering right away, he pressed further. “Alright?”

Slowly, you nodded your acceptance. But even as he finally released your wrists and kissed you deeply, you still felt the slightest hints of unease.


	10. Chapter 10

The world was silent, aside from the cries of seagulls and the soft hush of the wind through the leaves of the trees. Ahead of you, the world stretched out into the sea, seemingly forever, though you knew that wasn’t the case. Behind you there lay a large expanse of jungle, empty save for the kids you knew inhabited this world, playing their games of explorers and treasure. The air was cool, and the sun was shining. 

Underneath you, Xigbar’s chest rose and fell, and you thought he’d probably fallen asleep. As soon as Saix had given the news that everybody had a rare and precious day off to do whatever they wanted with, Xigbar had come to find you. He insisted that the two of you should use this time to your advantage, and you’d been unable to think of a reason to disagree with him. The longer he wheedled you and gave you that intoxicating grin of his, the more you forgot about why you wanted to disagree with him. It was Xigbar, after all, and you knew him and cared for him deeply. 

Everything was perfect, or so it should have seemed, but you still couldn’t relax. Every time you thought you were about to nod off to the comforting rhythm of his breathing underneath you, the memory of hearing him talking with Xemnas and Saix assaulted you again. He’d brushed if off, assured you it was nothing, and had continued to do so every time you’d brought it up since that day he’d confronted you about why you were avoiding him. Still, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

It had begun to feel like there were two of you — one that would blissfully melt into his arms and believe anything that sweetly fell from his lips, lips that had kissed you too many times and in too many places to count, and one that would, when allowed to be alone with your thoughts, replay and question everything he’d ever told you. Logically, you knew that he was right. There was nothing inherently wrong with what he’d said about Axel enjoying his vacation too much and yet somehow there was still a sense of dread inside of you that was stronger than almost anything you’d felt since becoming a Nobody. Stronger almost than the way that you cared for Xigbar, though it seemed that had come into question too. Because how could you care for him and doubt him like this? 

Despite his words and assurances, you still found yourself avoiding him when possible, RTC-ing immediately after missions and staying in your room as much as possible. The latter didn’t help much when he would come looking for you and find you exactly there. But then he’d hold you and whisper sweetly to you, and you found yourself thinking that he couldn’t possibly have meant anything in that meeting with Xemnas and Saix. It was such an innocuous phrase, you were probably just overthinking it. Right?

“Y’know, if you wanted to do something else you could just say.”

You froze, even though you hadn’t really been moving before he spoke. Your thoughts seemed to short circuit, just as they used to when they two of you first started… whatever you could call this relationship. The two of you had never really put labels on what you were to each other. Boyfriend and girlfriend? It sounded childish. Lovers? That sounded awkward, especially when you thought about the fact that you had no hearts. And yet, here you were, lying together under a clear blue sky.

“I thought you were asleep,” you finally admitted softly.

“I was, but somebody woke me up.” 

His voice was light and teasing as he grinned. You returned the expression hesitantly.

“Sorry,” you said. “I just… can’t seem to relax.”

At your words he sat up, his arms wrapped around you as he brought you with him.

“Now how do we fix that?”

He leaned in, and gently began peppering kisses across your skin. The two of you had abandoned your coats some time ago, instead just lying in your plainclothes and feeling the grass against your exposed skin. Under his touch, you felt some of the tension ease from your shoulders.

“I don’t know, I just…” 

You shrugged somewhat helplessly, disrupting the line of kisses he was trailing across your shoulder.

“Is this about that little meeting you overheard again?”

Your body stiffened. Again? Did you really bring it up so much that it was enough for him to grow weary of it? Was it going to push him away from you and leave you alone again? The thought made something inside of you clench, and if you didn’t know any better, you would say it was your heart. On instinct, you shook your head, slowly at first and then more rapidly.

“No, no, I wasn’t, not at all, I—”

“Babe.”

His interruption and intent stare stopped you in your tracks. He didn’t say anything, simply held your gaze until you had to look away.

“Alright… it is.”

Xigbar sighed and let his head fall back, staring up at the sky as if it could give him the answers he searched for, though you weren’t sure what his questions were. Probably how he could get you to shut up and stop bugging him about that stupid meeting, or why he was even bothering with you in the first place. You rushed to explain yourself.

“It’s just that I’ve never heard you talk like that before and I don’t know. You didn’t sound like you cared one way or the other if Axel got—” You couldn’t finish that sentence. “It just didn’t sound like you and it… gave me a bad feeling.”

“A bad feeling?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean. I just… I didn’t like it…” 

You trailed off, looking away from him as he sighed again.

“I thought we talked about this. You said you weren’t going to worry about it anymore.”

“I know,” you said, voice small.

“Hey.”

He put a finger under your chin, lifting your gaze up so that your eyes met. In his eye, you saw none of the irritation or judgment you’d feared, but a soft exasperation. You supposed you’d be exasperated too if, in the scant time the two of you had together, he kept bringing up something you’d rather not talk about. In truth, you’d love to just stop thinking about what you’d heard, pretend it never happened. If you could go back in time, you’d stop yourself from looking for him that day, just so that things could go back to the way they were. They hadn’t been perfect, but you’d at least been comfortable with him. As happy as a Nobody like you could be. Now you were just ruining everything and—

“Stop,” he said.

“Sorr—”

“No, not the asking me about it. I mean, that’d be nice and all, but it wasn’t what I was talking about. I meant that thinking yourself in circles thing that just works you up.”

“Sorry,” you repeated reflexively, mentally berating yourself for apologizing again.

He didn’t comment on your apology, but he didn’t have to. The look on his face said everything and you swallowed down another apology before it could pass your lips. After a moment, the look passed and he closed his eye, shaking his head slowly as he started chuckling.

“What am I gonna do with you, Hot Stuff?”

You almost breathed a sigh of relief at the nickname, knowing that he wouldn’t be using it if he were upset with you in any way. The relief was short-lived as the knowledge that he wasn’t upset with you sunk in. Here you were, worrying and thinking the worst of him, and he knew that, and despite it all, he was being patient with you, as loving as a being without a heart could be. Maybe you were the problem here, not him.

You shrugged again, unable to meet his eye.

“What do we have to do to get you to stop worrying about this?”

You hesitated, mouth parting slightly. Truthfully, short of your earlier desire to go back in time and stop yourself from ever overhearing his meeting, you had no idea what you could do to stop thinking about it. You’d tried avoiding him, and that hadn’t worked, and besides that wasn’t practical when all the members of the Organization shared housing. You were trying to spend time with him, trying to remind yourself that there was nothing to fear from him and that wasn’t working either. You had absolutely no idea how to go back to the way things used to be.

“I… I don’t know,” you admitted softly.

“How about this? I promise that, if Sparky gets punished, it won’t be by me.” You looked up at him.

“But what about—”

“I promise,” he insisted. “Stick a needle in my eye and all that crap.” He grinned mischievously. “As long as you promise no more eavesdropping.”

Before you could think about it any longer, you nodded. It sounded like a small price to pay for ensuring that Axel wouldn’t be eliminated, and more importantly that Xigbar wouldn’t be dirtying his hands by killing another member.

“What’s that?” Xigbar asked, cupping a hand around his ear. “I can’t hear you.”

“Yes, I promise. I promise too. No more eavesdropping.”

It wouldn’t be a hard promise to keep at all, considering you had no desire to hear what Xemnas discussed with his right hand men behind closed doors. All it had brought you was anxiety and stress into whatever this relationship was.

“Good,” Xigbar said with a satisfied smile. “Now, I think we still have a day off to enjoy.”

Before you could reply, he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours, and for the first time in what felt like far too long, you felt yourself sigh and melt into his touch, all your stress melting along with it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Angels in Flight Ch10 ~ Xigbar x Shy!Fem!Reader**  
Words: 1331

——————————-

You sat back in your seat in the Round Room. The other Members were in their thrones around you, creating the circle that was once filled with black coats. Instead, it was emptier than normal, emptier than it had ever been. Axel was the only Member that had returned from the mission at Castle Oblivion. All the others there… they had faded into true nothingness. 

Even if you weren’t exactly close to any of them, there was something comforting about at least having them around. There were only a handful of Members in the Organization to begin with, and now nearly half of them were gone. 

Saix’s voice droned on, the sound of it irritating you as your hands tightened in your lap. He merely recited the events at Oblivion, informing everyone who had perished, about the supposed coup and attempted mutiny. The others were silent, spare for Xigbar, who occasionally chimed in saying they were better off without the traitors. That last word made you wince. The two of you had shirked off your responsibilities more than once, blatantly disregarded Saix’s orders to spend the day together… what made you so different than the others?

Xigbar caught your stare, glancing back at you with a wink that would have normally made a blush cover your face. Instead you looked away, an uneasiness swirling in your gut. Was this really the man you had fallen for? 

You weren’t sure exactly when, but the meeting finally came to a close. Saix left all of you with a warning to follow orders and to get back to business as usual. Corridors sprouted up from the thrones around you, the others disappearing in the dark portals as you sat there, numb. Part of you wanted to ask why none of them seemed to care. But another, deeper part of you wondered if there was something wrong with you, because you did. You could feel Xigbar’s eye on you, most likely reading you like a book, as he always did. His stare made you feel sick. 

Shaking your head, you flicked your wrist, covering yourself in a Corridor. The brisk wind greeted you as the portal wisped away. You opened your eyes, finding yourself on the cliffside in Neverland. A rainbow curved over the sparkling ocean. The sight was so familiar, comforting, and breathtaking that for a moment, your racing thoughts settled and calmed. That was until another Corridor sprouted behind you. Your eyes slid shut, knowing immediately that it was Xigbar. 

“Thought I might find you here.” He simply stated as his greeting. “Didn’t take the news well, huh?”

You swallowed hard, trying to drown out the mess of thoughts nearly screaming in your head. “I’d…” you tried to speak, your voice shaking. “I’d rather be alone right now.”

Xigbar sighed heavily. “No can do, Hot Stuff. We have a job to do.”

“A job?” You repeated, your voice sharply raising on the final word as you looked over your shoulder. “Right now?”

His arms were crossed, looking right back at you as he shrugged. “You heard Scar Face, back to business as usual.”

Your jaw tightened as you turned and stormed away towards the forest. He didn’t say anything as you left, merely watched as you pushed aside branches, your gut tightening as you were overwhelmed with the sensation to cry, or scream, or something to make yourself feel. It was moments like this, moments that reminded you that you should be reacting, that you should be experiencing emotion. But you were numb, as you always were unless you were in Xigbar’s arms. The same arms that you weren’t entirely convinced wasn’t partially, if not completely at fault for what had happened to the fallen Members. 

“Where exactly are you going?” Xigbar called just a few steps behind. 

“I-I don’t know!” You admitted, pushing through the brush and stumbling into a grassy meadow riddled with vibrant wildflowers. 

Xigbar’s footsteps stopped at the edge of the forest, waiting to see what you’d say next. 

“Don’t you think this is wrong?” You asked, breaking the silent tension rising between you. Your voice slightly shook, your hands clenched at your sides, but that usual self conscious wall that was there to guard your true words was gone. “Half of them are gone, and you don’t even care.”

“Who said I didn’t?” He asked, remaining in his spot as you shook your head. 

“You sure didn’t sound like it.” You told him, wrapping your arms around yourself. 

“Again with what I said, huh?” He asked with a sigh. “You really can’t get over things, can you?”

“I can get over things just fine. But it’s a little hard when you refuse to tell me the truth.” You accused him in a single breath, your chest tightening as your true thoughts came out. “What’s really going on?”

When your words were met with silence, you swallowed, about to continue back into the forest until Xigbar began to clap. The sound of it made your body freeze. 

“Gotta say, I’m impressed.” He spoke up, making you blink as you looked over your shoulder at him. “I was beginning to think you’d never reach a boiling point.”

You looked back forward, your face warming. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“Who said I was, Hot Stuff?” He asked, his footsteps coming closer and making you tense. 

He walked in front of you to be in your line of sight and you averted your gaze. 

“I’m trying to say I like it.” He tried again, chuckling when you sent him a look. “I like hearing what’s really going on in that pretty head of yours. Even if it’s how ticked off you are at me.”

You couldn’t help but huff in amusement, despite the way the knot in your gut tightened. “I don’t like saying it…”

“Yeah, I know.” He gripped your chin, turning your face to his. “But you could stand to say it more often.”

The corner of your lips twitched upwards, your body yearning to melt into his touch and forget everything else going on. Instead, your reached your hand to his wrist and pulled him away from you. 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” You reminded him, your eyes downcast to his wrist in your grasp. “What’s really going on…?”

“Things you aren’t supposed to know about.” He answered you, much to your surprise as your gaze drew upwards to him. “It’s not just me being tight lipped.”

“Then what is it?” You asked, your voice going softer and back to the reserved, shy way it usually was. 

His lips pursed as he shrugged, “Ah, I don’t know, maybe I’m protecting something.”

You blinked, blush filling your cheeks as you had a distinct idea what this something was. “Protecting what?”

He chuckled, “You really think you just got lucky with not getting picked to go to Oblivion?”

“You… protected, me?” You asked, the frustration and disgust inside of you fading as you began to realize what could have happened if it wasn’t for him. “But why?”

That all too familiar smirk spread across his lips. “What do you think, Babe?” He stepped forward, his arm wrapping around the small of your back to pull your closer. “You think I act like this with everyone?”

“No, but–” your voice was cut off by his lips crashing against your own. 

That was it. That was the final piece to get you to melt back into his arms. His reassurances didn’t change anything that happened, but if it weren’t for him… well, you weren’t sure what could have happened. 

Your hands clung to his coat, pulling him closer as you kissed him back with just as much passion and need as him. The reality the two of your were in wasn’t ideal. Neither of you were even alive anymore, merely traversing the universe on the brink of Nothing. If there was anything to cling to in your existence… maybe it was him. 

———————————–

-Mod Lucky


	12. Chapter 12

**Angels in Flight Ch11 ~ Xigbar x Shy!Fem!Reader**  
Words: 1778

———————————-

You ran your hand along the crystal fissures that grew out of the towering cliff side. They were cool and smooth to your touch, glistening with blues and purples. It was a beautiful sight, one that you had never seen before. It was your first time in Hollow Bastion. You had been sent there along with the rest of the remaining Organization Members to confront the Hero of Light and his friends. The meeting was already said and done. Sora, the so-called Hero, seemed to know little to nothing about your fellow Members, which was odd considering he was the one that had slaughtered through the others in Castle Oblivion. 

There wasn’t much you could say on the matter. You were merely sent to stand behind the Superior along a cliff side, to show Sora who he was really up against. Xigbar had gone to talk directly with him and there was something unsettling about seeing Sora talk so dismissively to him. You couldn’t deny the fear that the same thing that befell the other Members would befall the one thing that kept you going.

“Hey, Babe, you coming or what?” Xigbar’s voice echoed through the chasm, grabbing your attention as you looked forward to see him out of the chasm entirely. 

You gave one last look to the crystal, breaking off a small piece of it and slipping it into your pocket before following after him. As you made it through the cliffside, you were met with wide open land. Heartless and Nobodies scattered over the battlefield, paying you and Xigbar little mind as they mindlessly battled each other. Glowing hearts occasionally sprouted from the defeated bodies, swirling through the air before disappearing to join Kingdom Hearts. 

“What’s happening here?” You asked, staying close to Xigbar as he walked through the chaos. 

“Hell if I know,” he sighed, placing his hands along his back to stretch. “Seems like a war’s brewing.”

“A war…?” You repeated, hating the way the word felt on your tongue. 

With the way things had been going the past couple months, you couldn’t say that you were surprised it was reaching this point. Since everything at Oblivion, things had been going haywire. Xigbar was your only constant through it all, even though you knew everything he told you was skewed in some way. 

“Stay sharp,” Xigbar’s voice once again cut through your thoughts, making you shake your head to focus, just in time to see a Large Body Heartless barreling towards you. 

With a gasp, you jumped back, about to summon your weapon before Xigbar grabbed your hand, hoisting you off the ground entirely. You yelped, stumbling forward and wrapping your arms around him to keep yourself balanced. He chuckled, holding you close as you came to terms with standing on literally nothing. It didn’t matter how many times he used his powers to manipulate gravity so you could fly or walk on air, it always took you a moment to adjust. 

Swallowing, you nodded, standing back up straight as your hands slid to his chest. “Th-thank you.”

“Sure thing, Hot Stuff.” he smirked, “Someone’s gotta look after you. Might as well be me, since you aren’t going to do it.”

You huffed with a smile tipping the corner of your lips. “Sorry. Lost in thought.”

“As always,” he commented, slipping his hand over yours on his chest and leading past the battlefield. 

Your smile grew wider for just a moment, faltering as you looked at the battle happening on the ground below. The higher Xigbar led you, the more carnage you could see. It all seemed so pointless.

Xigbar led the way until you reached another clearing higher up. It was through another chasm and overlooked the town and castle of Hollow Bastion. None of the Heartless or other Nobodies had made it through the chasm, it was only the two of you. You sent Xigbar a slight smile of thanks as he lowered you back to the ground. He went forward, still in the air as he walked past the edge of the cliffside. His arms were crossed, his shoulders tense until he let out a loud breath and fell back. He lounged, his legs crossed and his hands lacing behind his neck. 

“Quite the view, huh?” he asked. 

You followed his gaze towards the castle and town far below. It was a strange sight. You weren’t familiar with the history of the world, but it seemed to have a story to tell. The castle itself seemed to be a mishmash of styles over time. Parts of it were elegant and regal, while others were old and rusty, with copper pipes protruding through the walls as thick, dark smoke billowed out of them. Walking the edge of the cliffside, you sat down, your feet dangling off the side. 

“It’s something,” you told him, hearing his snicker in response. 

“So you going to tell me what’s going through your pretty head?” He asked, making you tense. “Or are you planning on making me work for it like you usually do?”

You let out a breath of amusement, the slightest bit of embarrassment swirling through you. “You know how to read me.”

“Course I do,” he waved his hand in the air. “This whole thing wouldn’t really work if I couldn’t.”

Your gaze drifted towards him at his words, sparking a new thought in your mind that came out before you had a chance to fully process it. “Why did you choose me?”

“Why did I choose you?” He repeated with confusion. “What, like choosing a treat or something?”

“No,” you laughed, your hands tightening in your lap as you realized how ridiculous you sounded. “I mean… why me…? Out of everyone you could have chosen to go after…” Your voice trailed off as your eyes downcast to your lap. “I wasn’t anything. I could barely speak, but then the first time we were on a mission you just– I don’t know…”

“Do I need a reason?” He asked, “You were interested, I was curious, and it worked out.” He sat up as you lifted your gaze to him. “Not everything needs a deep explanation, Hot Stuff.”

“I guess not,” you muttered, looking back to the castle. 

“What about you?” He asked, “Why’d you pick little ole me?”

You watched the smoke billowing into the air, swirling out of existence the higher it went. As much as you hoped it would, it didn’t hold any answers for you as you searched for the words to say. Xigbar glanced over his shoulder to look at you, his stare making you nervous. 

“I-I’m not sure either,” you admitted, getting a chuckle from Xigbar. 

“See? I’m not the only one.” He looked back forward. “We both don’t know why we chose the other, just sort of happened.”

“I… I’ve always admired you, I guess.” You confessed with a quiet voice. “And being around you… I don’t know, it makes me feel something.”

Xigbar hummed in thought for a moment, before he stood up in one swift motion and walked over to you. Before you could ask what he was doing, he reached down, grabbing your wrists and hoisting you up with him. You gasped, falling against him from the momentum. His laugh rumbled through his chest and into you as he held you close. 

“I guess that makes two of us.” He told you, causing your breath to hitch. 

“You mean, you admire — me?” You asked, standing up straight to meet your gaze with his. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he smirked, causing a warmth to creep onto your cheeks. “Among other things.”

You couldn’t help yourself from giggling at the insinuation, making his smirk grow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it to mean, Hot Stuff.” He grinned as the warmth on your cheeks deepened. 

As your giggling died down, your eyes danced over his face, a smile still spread across your lips. Your hand slid up, your fingertips gently tracing the scar across his cheek that led up to his eye. He never told you how he had gotten the scars that riddled his body, there was so much you didn’t know about him and so much that you were certain you would never learn. There you were, spending every free moment you could spare with a man you knew nearly nothing about. His eye slipped shut as he leaned into your touch. 

“Something going on in that pretty head of yours?” He asked, smirking at your huff in response. 

“I just… don’t understand you.” You confessed with a soft voice, your breath catching as he snickered.

“What’s there to understand?” He asked, his eye opening and meeting with yours. “You want my life story or something?”

You half smiled in return, shaking your head. “I guess, I want to understand why.”

His brow quirked up, “Why?”

With a nod, you clarified, “Why me? Why do you care? If you were just curious about me, why go through so much to protect–”

Your words were cut off by his lips pressing against yours. A whine came up your throat, even though your body wanted to melt into his touch. You kissed him back for a moment before breaking the kiss. 

“You can’t avoid me every time with a kiss.” You chided him. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he conceded with a breathy laugh. “It’s not my fault you talk too much now.”

“Oh shut up,” you mumbled, getting a snicker in response. 

“Ooh the snark’s starting up now, I think I like it.” He grinned, making you huff out a breath as you looked away. 

Maybe there didn’t have to be a reason, or maybe he didn’t know himself. It wasn’t as if you could really explain what kept drawing you to him. Why you were willing to overlook everything else going on in favor of keeping him in your life. 

His lips met along your jawline, making your eyes flutter shut as a sigh slipped past your lips. You could feel his smirk against your skin as he feathered kisses along your jaw down to your neck. 

“Stop overthinking everything, Hot Stuff.” He murmured against your skin, making you nearly melt. “Just be glad it’s happening. That’s what I do.”

Your hands cupped his face, pulling him back from your neck. The moment you could see his eye, you smiled, meeting your lips with his. He hummed, his arm tightening around you as he kissed you back. As the lock broke, your gazes danced over the other. 

“I guess I can do that,” you whispered, just before kissing him again and swallowing his responding chuckle. 

————————————–

-Mod Lucky


	13. Chapter 13

##  ****Angels in Flight ~ Xigbar x Shy!Fem!Reader****

**Words: 1924**

**————————————**

Vibrant hues of color burst in the starry night sky, shimmering and sizzling out of existence before another firework whistled up in their stead. The various oohs and aahhs from the crowd below made you smile as you nuzzled in closer to Xigbar. You lay precariously on a rooftop, your head resting along his shoulder as you watched the fireworks show over the festival happening in the streets below. The two of you hadn’t been to the Land of Dragons in months, and you were nearly buzzing when Xigbar suggested going back on your day off. **  
**

It wasn’t as if it really was a full day off. Not a proper one like they used to be, anyway. Ever since Sora had reawakened, things in the Organization had been– frazzled, to say the least. Axel had been labeled as a traitor and every Member was sent to various worlds to harvest more hearts than ever. You couldn’t remember the last time you had slept in your own bed, or had even seen the Castle That Never Was. Not that you entirely minded. It was nice to be away from a place that only reminded you of how desolate everything had become since Oblivion. 

You had gone from one world to the next, paying little mind to the inhabitants as you only searched for Heartless. A few of the other Members had taken their missions a bit too seriously, causing havoc and coercing people with dark hearts to become Heartless themselves. You hadn’t been sure exactly which of them had done it, but you dearly hoped Xigbar wasn’t among them. He would disappear for days at a time, off on his own missions and following his own agenda. Then he’d show up with his trademark smirk and promised a good time. 

With everything going on lately, all the hysterics and death, the last thing you wanted to do was cause more friction between the one person that stood beside you. As sick as it made your gut when he’d return without a word of where he went or what had happened, you opted to swallow the uneasiness and agree without question. 

“You enjoyin the show?” Xigbar’s voice cut through your thoughts. You startled, making him chuckle, “Easy there, Hot Stuff. Just asking.”

Glancing up at him, you noticed the splashes of color covering his face with every explosion of the fireworks. His golden eye nearly glowed from the show as he drifted his gaze to meet with yours, his brow quirking up. The corner of your lips tipped upwards as you shook your head. 

“Just thinking,” you told him, laying back down and resting your head along his chest. “As always.”

The bang of the fireworks masked your last addition as you focused on the way Xigbar’s chest rose and fell with each breath. He took in a particularly long one, his hand running up and down your back. 

“You really need to start learning to live in the moment, Babe.” He muttered and if it hadn’t been for your ear against his chest to hear his voice rumbling through him, the words would have been lost in the show. “Days like this don’t come around too often anymore.”

The weight in his words sunk deep inside of you as the whimsical excitement of being out with him faded away. You simply nodded, wrapping your arm around him and holding him closer. There was no telling what the future held for either of you. Every day, every moment with him was stolen time together. 

“I don’t want this to end,” you admitted, your voice quiet enough, that you were sure he hadn’t heard you, but from the way he held you tighter, there was a chance that he had. 

Your gaze drifted back to the sky, seeing the glowing display illuminating the starry sky. Each passing burst of color caused the tension inside of you to lessen until you were joining the crowd in their remarks of adoration, occasionally glancing back at Xigbar to see if he was enjoying it as much as you were. He smirked back, sometimes chuckling from your giddy excitement. You sat up after a few minutes, your knees huddled up against your chest and your arms wrapped around them. Xigbar’s hand grazed up and down your back as he remained lying back. 

It was obvious that something was just as deeply on Xigbar’s mind as there was on yours. The show distracted you, but as you glanced back at him, you’d catch his gaze elsewhere, a slight, contemplative frown on his lips. Then he’d realize you were looking and he’d meld back into his cocky smirk that never failed to make you smile back. 

The last firework burst in the sky, the bang of it ringing through the air as the crowd dispersed. Festivities were said and done, the celebration had been enjoyed and the final show was their way of signifying its end. You saw near the edge of the rooftop, thankful that your coat concealed your existence as you watched the town empty. 

Xigbar’s loud yawn caught your attention, making you look back at him to see him moving to sit up. You scooted back to be beside him, smiling as he scratched the back of his neck and stretched. 

“What are you smiling about?” He asked, huffing a breath of amusement when you averted your gaze. 

“O-oh, nothing really,” you stammered, hating the moments your shy nature crept back up into full force around him. Clearing your throat, you looked towards your lap, admitting, “I just, really enjoyed being here with you. It’s been a while since we’ve had a night just for us.”

“You’re telling me,” he agreed, putting his finger under your chin and lifting your gaze back to his. “Why’d you think I told you to enjoy it?”

You smiled, warmth filling your cheeks as you wordlessly nodded. Xigbar chuckled, gripping your chin as he leaned forward and met your lips together. Your breath hitched in your throat, your eyes fluttering shut as you kissed him back. 

“Let’s say we get out of here?” He asked with a low voice, his smirk splitting his lips at the warmth darkening on your cheeks. 

“I–” your voice caught as you found yourself kissing him again, unsure which of you had closed the distance. 

You hummed, feeling his other arm wrap around your back to pull you closer and into his lap. Just as you were straddling him, you broke the kiss, leaning your head against his. 

“I want to know what’s on your mind first.” You forced the words out, “Something was bothering you during the show.” You pulled back to see his face, your chest tightening at the slight frown on his lips. “What was it?”

“Who said you got to ask the questions, Hot Stuff?” He asked, his brow quirking up as he tilted his head to the side. 

“You always want to know what’s going through my head.” You pointed out, resting your hands along his chest as your fingers traced the metal trinkets hanging from his coat. “Why can’t I know what’s going on in yours?”

With a sigh, he slung his head back, obviously annoyed or at the very least, exasperated, by your questioning. “Nothing to worry your pretty head over, alright?”

“If I can help–”

“No can do, Babe.” He cut you off, looking back at you again as he shrugged. “Gotta deal with this one on my own.”

You wanted to press him further, to demand to know what he was hiding and why he refused to let you know the truth. Was he afraid of how you’d react? Worried you’d be in danger if you knew? Or did he not trust you? Swallowing the growing lump in your throat, you nodded. 

“Alright…” You murmured, your gaze settled back on his chest. “I wish you trusted me.”

“Now you and I both know that’s not the case.” He tipped up your chin again, tilting his head to the side when you tried to look away regardless. With a heavy sigh, he released your chin. “What do I gotta do to get you off my case?”

You winced at his words. All it would take was him being honest with you. Were you really the one stepping out of line here? Your entire relationship had been him keeping secrets from you and placating you with promises that he was only protecting you… Protecting you from what?

“Nothing,” you told him, letting out a breath. “I’m just… worried about you, about… us. About what you’re keeping from me. What’s going to happen to us?”

He was silent for a beat, his gaze dancing over you as he considered your words. His fingers grazed your cheek, lacing into your hair as he pushed it out of your face. You brought your eyes back to his, that same absent look in his eye that told you he was lost in thought again. 

“Nothing that I can’t handle, Hot Stuff.” He assured you, smirking when you didn’t seem entirely convinced. “You just keep going on your missions and I’ll take care of everything else. We’ll be just fine.”

You blinked. The assurance and confidence in his tone was something you were used to, but for something like this? Did he know what was coming? 

“What’s going to happen?” You asked, leaning into his touch as his thumb grazed your cheek. 

“Nothing to worry your pretty little head over.” 

You huffed, a slight smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “I’m not a child, you know. I can handle things, too.”

“Oh can you?” He teased, making you huff again, but his time with amusement as he snickered. “Nah, I know you can. Doesn’t mean I’m just going to tell you, though.”

As much as you wanted to press him further, you sighed, defeated. “Just… promise me you’ll stay alive.. Whatever it is you’re doing out there, whatever’s bothering you, don’t let it go too far. I–” your voice caught in your throat as you took in a deep breath. “I kinda like you.”

Xigbar’s laughter jolted your attention back to his, an embarrassed warmth covering you as you quickly looked away. 

“I kinda like you too, Hot Stuff.” He assured you amidst his laughter. “Might even say I like you even more than just kinda, but who keeps track of stuff like that.”

“You know what I mean,” You couldn’t help but smile, giggling as you looked back to him. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he snickered, reigning in his laugh as his gaze settled on you. “But alright, I promise. Old man’s honor.”

“You aren’t that old,” you pointed out with a chuckle. 

“Maybe not,” he shrugged, his smirk splitting his lips. “All I’m saying is that I’ll be fine. We both will. So don’t worry about it.”

You smiled at his sincerity, even if it didn’t erase the uneasiness swirling in your gut. 

“Does that satisfy you?” He asked, making you scoff. 

“Hardly,” you huffed with a smile still on your lips, “but I’ll take it.”

“Good,” he smirked, his hand gripping the metal trinkets hanging from your coat and tugging you forward. 

You gasped, melting into a hum when your lips met with his. As the kiss broke, your gazes danced over the other’s face. 

“Now can we finally get outta here?” He asked, making you bubble into a laugh. 

You answered him with another kiss, lingering before you pulled back.

“Take me away.”

————————————

-Mod Lucky


	14. Chapter 14

##  ****Angels in Flight Ch14 ~ Xigbar x Shy!Fem!Reader****

**Words: 919**

**—————————**

Melodious notes of music cut through your dreamless slumber. Your eyes fluttered open, seeing the window nearest to your bed open. The wooden shutters swung back and forth from the wind as snowflakes swirled into the room. A warm arm tightened around your waist, a sleepy groan and grumble from Xigbar behind you as he buried his head against the back of your neck. You couldn’t help but smile, running your cold fingertips along his arm to coax him into waking up. **  
**

“Seems like the festival is still going,” you whispered to him, getting another grumble in response that made you huff out a breath in amusement.

The two of you had found an inn to stay at after the fireworks show the night before. You would usually part ways before nightfall, but there was something about last night. You had ended up in each other’s arms, taking a few hours away from everything going on and it was the closest to perfection you could ever achieve as someone without a heart. Even though you knew it wasn’t going to last forever, you were going to take advantage of every single moment before it was time to get back to your separate missions. 

Xigbar slowly awakened, giving you the chance to really take in your surroundings. The night before had been a blur of passion and you hadn’t noticed what your room even looked like. Through the open window, you could see the snow falling and the occasional pop of color from a passing dragon display during what you could only assume was a morning parade to mark the next day of the festival. Truth be told, you hadn’t the slightest idea what the city was celebrating, but it brought a dull sense of joy to see it. Even through the dark of the night and the glow of fireworks the night before, you had seen the smiles and excitement in the crowd. Such happiness, even in a time of pain and war. 

The arm around your waist went to your shoulder, rolling you onto your back. You gasped, melting into a giggle when Xigbar’s lips took in your own. 

“Morning, Hot Stuff,” he greeted as the kiss broke, his trademark smirk on his lips that made you smile in response. 

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you sat up and closed the distance for another kiss.

“Morning,” you muttered, your smile growing. 

“So last night was fun,” he grinned as flush warmed your cheeks. 

“It was,” you agreed with a soft, shy tone. “We should do that more often.”

He chuckled, “Took the words right out of my mouth.” 

His gaze danced over you for a moment, as if he were considering saying more. Instead, he sat up completely and swung his legs over the side of the bed as he stretched. 

“Man, I can’t remember the last time I slept that well.” He yawned, his hands on his lower back as he stretched further. 

“Me too,” you agreed, tracing your hand along the stitching in the comforter as your gaze fell back on the window and the celebration happening right outside in the square. 

“Guess it’s time to head back to the real world, huh?” Xigbar lamented with a sigh, standing from the bed. “Those Heartless aren’t going to destroy themselves.”

Your eyes drifted downwards towards the wooden floorboards as snowflakes floated down on top of them, only to melt away the instant they landed. Such beautiful things, gone in a single moment. Your grip tightened along the comforter as you realized it was time to part ways. Your fleeting moment of perfection was coming to a swift end with no indication of when it would be back again. 

“Wait,” you spoke up, feeling Xigbar’s gaze land on you as you took in a deep breath. “What if… we didn’t go back?”

“Liiike, ever?” he asked, his hand going to his hip as you brought your eyes up to him. 

“I mean, what if we played hooky… for old times sake?” 

He blinked, looking towards the festival. His contemplative frown didn’t take long to tip into smirk as he chuckled. 

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you Hot Stuff?” He teased, looking back at you in time to see your shy smile as you pushed your hair back behind you ear. 

“Maybe,” you admitted, looking away embarrassed. “Just seems like something you’d suggest.”

“You’ve got me there,” he agreed, snapping his fingers and surrounding himself with darkness. When it dissipated, he was back in his coat, fully ready for the day. “But alright. Let’s do it.”

You darted your attention back to him, “You mean–”

“You coming or what?” He asked, already by the door to your room. 

“Oh!” You jumped up, grabbing your clothes off the floor rather than performing your own display like Xigbar had. You scrambled to get your coat on and smoothed out your hair as you hurried to his side. “Ready,” you grinned up at him with a rare, nearly giddy excitement. 

Xigbar chuckled, making you tilt your head to the side before you realized that he was laughing at you. A warmth covered your cheeks as you looked away in embarrassment. 

“Sorry–”

“Hey, far be it from me to get on you for being excited about something.” He shrugged, tipping his hand under your chin to bring your eyes back to his. “Least of all if it’s because of me.”

You smiled, leaning up to kiss him. “Of course it is.”

———————————

-Mod Lucky


	15. Chapter 15

****Angels in Flight Ch14 ~ Xigbar x ShyFem!Reader****

**Words: 1725**

**\---------------**

The streets were still full of people, everybody enjoying the festival. There were so many sights and sounds to take in, even more than you’d seen the day before and you were still giddy with excitement at being able to spend the day with Xigbar and the thrill of playing hooky once more. It had been so long since the two of you had done so, especially with everything that had happened in Castle Oblivion and then with Sora’s reappearance. You were never not busy, it seemed and the past few days had been such an amazing breath of fresh air.

You couldn’t help but drag Xigbar through the streets, wanting to catch a glimpse of everything, and blessedly forgetting all your worries. The two of you didn’t speak much, except to comment on the stalls and their food and wares. The shopkeepers helpfully explained their items to you, smiling at your enthusiasm. Though the wares were interesting, you good mood could only be attributed to playing hooky with Xigbar. Every time you caught his gaze, you found yourself smiling uncontrollably in a way that was both foreign but somehow exhilarating. 

During one of these moments you exchanged a look, Xigbar grinned at you. Before you could react, he was pulling you into an alley and you were pinned against the wall between his arms. His lips captured yours and you gasped at the suddenness and need of it.

“Xigbar,” you breathed when he finally pulled away. “What was that for?”

“You complaining?” he asked, smirking at you.

You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips.

“No, just wasn’t expecting it.”

“What can I say?” He shrugged. “You make it impossible to resist sometimes.”

You blushed, but couldn’t help your pleased smile at his words. You were a lot more comfortable in your skin and your relationship than when he had first told you he was interested in you, but it was always nice to be told in so many words that he cared about you.

“Well I guess we don’t have to be at the festival to play hooky. We did say we should do that more often,” you quipped.

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” he said.

He raised his hand to create a dark corridor, looking up briefly before his gaze snapped up entirely. A thoughtful almost frown had replaced the playful smirk. You followed his gaze towards the end of the alley, but didn’t see what could have caused his expression to change so rapidly.

“What is it?” Your eyes searched his face, but there were no answers there either. “Xigbar?” His gaze snapped back to you. “What’s going on? What did you see?”

A sudden dread was filling you, though you tried to push it down. You didn’t like that look on his face, and the dread couldn’t be banished by his lazy smirk. Crossing your arms, you gave him the sternest look you could muster.

“Relax, Hot Stuff. There’s just something that I need to take care of. Won’t take long.”

“Something like what?” Ever since your last angry outburst at him, it had been easier to say what was on your mind — even when it meant confronting him.

“Something you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about.” He leaned down and kissed your forehead, blatantly ignoring the scowl that was emerging on your face. “I won’t be gone long.”

“Why won’t you just tell me what it is?”

His expression twitched ever so slightly.

“Just trust me, alright, Hot Stuff?”

“Sure,” you mumbled, looking away from him. It wasn’t how long he’d be gone that was the problem. It was the fact that he was leaving on another mysterious errand that you knew you’d never know the result of. It was the fact that he had to ask you to trust him and remind you that, however much you’d buried it down, however much you thought you’d gotten over it, there was still a small part of you that remembered doubting him, and maybe still did.

You didn’t turn to face him when he tried to give you a kiss goodbye, and the only response you gave when he told you he’d be back soon was a noncommittal hum. There was the sound of a dark portal opening and his footsteps walking away, and then you knew you were alone. Slowly, you felt your scowl fall and the tension eased from your shoulders.

Why was he always running off and leaving you in the dark? Why did it feel like he was hiding something so incredibly important from you?

The empty alleyway offered you no answers. You let your eyes take in the spot where Xigbar had disappeared, before slowly turning back towards the bustling street. Though it had only been moments ago that you had been among them, smiling and having a wonderful time, it now seemed like a lifetime away. Like something your Somebody had experienced and you were just clinging to it because it was all you had.

Sighing, you stood up straighter, trying to convince yourself to go back to the street and stop moping. Xigbar had said he’d be back soon, so you couldn’t justify leaving, even though there was no part of you that felt any urge to rejoin the festivities. It felt like now it would just be fake. You pushed yourself off from the wall and began to head back towards the main street, thinking that you’d just return to your room. The festival hadn’t changed in the short moments you’d spent in the alley, but all the wonder was gone.

You made your way slowly through the streets, doing your best to avoid the eager gazes and chatter of the shopkeepers while also making sure not to run into any of the passersby. You were nearly back to the inn you had stayed at with Xigbar when you finally noticed the subtle shift in the atmosphere. It was slight at first, but the further you walked, the more apparent it became. The air was rife with tension, and then, seemingly all at once, panic ensued.

People began pushing past you, fear in their voices until everyone was running, and screams and shouts rang through the air. You watched everyone shove past you with wide eyes, looking up and down the street to find the source of the chaos. You didn’t have to look for long to see the giant dragon hovering over the palace. Your hands shot up to cover your ears as it gave a loud roar, followed by deafening crashing that sounded like cymbals.

“A Heartless?”

But… 

Suddenly everything made sense — Xigbar running off as quickly as he had, the “thing” he’d needed to take care of. While you’d wanted to spend the day with him playing hooky and forget your stresses, he’d been creating a giant dragon Heartless and who knew what else. You stood stunned, still in the middle of the street, the thinning crowds still parting around you.

“Miss! Miss, you should run!”

A man stood in front of you, dark eyes worried and a hand on your arm.

“Oh, um, no, no thank you, I’ll be fine.”

“But the—”

“She said she’s fine, champ.”

Xigbar’s hand landed heavily on the man’s shoulder, and he looked between the two of you, frowning, before apparently deciding he’d be better off leaving. He gave the two of you one last glance and ran off.

“Time to skedaddle, Hot Stuff.”

“So much for our day of hooky,” you scowled.

Xigbar frowned and gripped your arm.

“We don’t exactly have time for the inquisition right now, babe. We gotta go.” When you didn’t move, he continued, “Sora’s here.”

That caused your entire body to tense before you finally relented. He summoned a dark corridor and the two of you entered it, emerging on a blindingly white mountainside. 

You immediately pulled your arm from his grasp and stepped closer to the edge. From up here, you could see the entire city, the wide main street you had just been on, and the palace. The palace that was currently under siege by the giant Heartless. It was impossible to see Sora clearly, just three black dots that you had to assume were him and his friends based on the way they jumped at the Heartless and dodged its attacks.

Crossing your arms, you bit your lip, watching the battle. Yet again, Xigbar had gone behind your back and done something horrible. The Heartless was clearly targeting the palace, but it had already destroyed several of homes outside of the palace walls. The sight of the abandoned street, littered with goodies from the festivities, put your stomach in knots. The longer you watched, the worse you felt, until finally you couldn’t contain it anymore. You whirled on Xigbar, arms tightening around yourself.

“Why did you do this?”

He pulled his eye from the battle.

“Do what, Hot Stuff?”

“This!” You gestured widely at the Heartless and the destruction. “Not only did you ruin our day off, you destroyed that festival and those homes! And for what?”

His expression hardened at your words. It was the first time he’d ever responded to your doubts with anything but good-natured exasperation and it made you pause.

“Because that’s what the Organization does. Or did you forget about our goal?”

You couldn’t meet his gaze.

“I…”

“It’s never been pretty, and it never will be, Hot Stuff. The sooner you realize that, the better.”

You didn’t reply. You couldn’t. You knew he was right, that this was the kind of thing the Organization did, and you had known that when you’d joined. It just hadn’t seemed so awful until the people around you started getting hurt and dying.

Xigbar was waiting for a response, but you didn’t know what to say. Instead, you summoned a dark corridor and fled back to your room. Once there, you leaned heavily against the door, fighting against the way your body trembled. You couldn’t cry, but at the moment you wanted nothing more than that, to release the conflict inside you.

You wanted to be with Xigbar. He was the only one who made you feel again. But how could you when at every turn… you were doubting him again?

\-----------

-Mod Amar


	16. Chapter 16

“The hero’s nearly to the castle.” Xigbar’s words caused your hands to tighten in your lap as you sat in your seat in the meeting room. “We just gonna let him through? Or is there a plan to do something about it?”

You swallowed, desperately trying to coat your dry throat as you glanced up. The few remaining Members of the Organization sat in their own thrones, their hoods up, concealing their faces. Or maybe, it was to hide their expressions. Unsettling tension that had covered every room in the castle. It was the sort of tension that kept you up at night, kept your thoughts from being clear as dread steadily rose in your entire empty being. If the responding silence to Xigbar’s inquiry was any indication, you weren’t the only one that realized that everything was about to end. 

“We’ve expected his arrival.” Saix was the one to speak up, your attention darting towards him as he added. “Why else do you think we would have the girl locked away here? It was to lure him here.”

The girl…

You had heard there was a young girl imprisoned in the castle, yet even after hours spent searching, you hadn’t found a trace of her. Xigbar huffed out a breath, leaning back in his seat as his gaze found yours. He was the only Member without his hood covering his face. It was a mixture of comforting and unnerving to see his lazy smirk when your eyes met with his. Didn’t he realize what was coming? 

“Our goal is nearly realized.” Your Superior broke your inner thoughts, the low rumbling sound of his voice tensed your shoulders further as he looked around the room. “All we require now is defeating the heroes of light.”

“So that’s the plan?” Xigbar asked, crossing his legs as his fingers drummed along the arm rest. “Throw one Member after another in hopes it will take the kid out?”

“Would you prefer if there was more?” Saix asked. 

“Nah, just making sure we got all the details.” Xigbar waved him off. “Last thing we need is more secret plans getting in the way and making a mess of things.”

Your eyes narrowed at his words. It didn’t seem as if he was one warn against keeping secrets. No matter how long you confronted him on the matter, it was something that kept its place between you and him, wedging you apart. 

“You need only to focus on your given mission.” Your Superior clarified, “That is all.”

With that, he wisped away in a Dark Corridor, leaving the rest of his Members sitting in silence. Your stomach churned at everything about to come. Any moment, Sora would burst into the castle. Despite Saix’s assurance that it was exactly what they had hoped for, you couldn’t quite shake the overwhelming dread that was steadily building with every passing second. 

You could feel Xigbar’s gaze on you as you sucked in a sharp breath, trying to keep the edge off an oncoming panic attack. With a flick of your wrist, you surrounded yourself in a Corridor and disappeared from the room completely. You reappeared along a balcony that overlooked the city below. Raindrops poured and splattered over the buildings and the road, seemingly matching the turmoil inside of you. Your hands gripped the railing as you spotted Sora battling a group of Heartless with his companions at his side.

“You can’t keep running away, you know.” Xigbar’s voice behind you made your eyes slide shut as you sighed. “One day, you’re just going to have to face reality.”

“I know,” you replied, your voice small and nearly silent. 

Xigbar came up beside you, leaning against the railing before he chuckled. “So there he is. The universe’s hero of light.” 

You chewed your bottom lip, your eyes following along with every movement Sora made. Xigbar was content to allow the silence between you grow as you listened to the patter of rain against the rooftops. Seconds passed into minutes until Sora had disappeared from your sight. Even though you couldn’t directly see him anymore, the tension inside of you remained. 

“What are we going to do…?” You asked. 

“All we gotta do is follow orders.” He reminded you. 

“Which is?”

“To stop him,” he stood up straight, “by any means necessary.”

Your eyes slipped shut as you choked down a swell of panic. “Do we have to?”

Xigbar was silent for a beat, before chuckling. “What, you want to play hooky?”

You couldn’t help the soft huff of laughter in response, despite everything. “Can we?”

His chuckling continued for a few moments longer, before ending with a long exhale of breath. “No can do, Hot Stuff. Even I have to do my job, sometimes.”

“It was worth a shot.” You glanced over at him, struggling to strain a smile when his gaze met yours. 

His eye flitted over her face, a rare thoughtful expression across his features before he looked back into your eyes. “You’re gonna be fine, alright?”

You blinked, a warmth filling your ears as you let out a soft breath and looked back out towards the city. “There’s no way to know that.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” He shrugged, turning around to lean his back against the railing. “Not like I’m going to let anything happen to you.” 

“You might not get a choice.” You pointed out. 

“Nah, I will.” He leaned over so you could see his face. “You and me, we’ll be alright. No matter what happens with Sora.”

He had that cocky smirk across his lips, one that never failed to stutter your thoughts. The corners of your lips tipped upwards, making his smirk grow into a grin. 

“I know you’re just trying to make me feel better.” You told him. “You don’t have to lie about what’s going to happen.”

“And who said I’m lying?” He asked, his brow quirking up as you huffed in amusement and rolled your eyes. 

You looked back out at the city, your expression falling back into a contemplative frown as the flecks of joy you’d been able to find flitted away. 

“What happens to us if—” your voice trailed off as your eyes shut. Taking in a deep breath, you finished, “–if we’re defeated…?”

You opened your eyes when Xigbar didn’t reply. His gaze was distracted as he mulled over your words. His smirk had faded into a similar contemplative frown that you already wore. 

“No one really knows.” He admitted with a sigh as he leaned his head back and gazed up at the dark sky. 

“Will we fade away?” You asked, unsure why you thought he would have the answers.

“Nah,” he shook his head. “Xemnas might try to convince us we’re nothing but empty husks, but we know better.”

“We… do?” You asked as you tilted your head to the side, getting a laugh from Xigbar. 

“Course we do, Hot Stuff.” He looked over at you with his smirk returning.

Despite his nonsensical points, the tension in your shoulders lessened along with the dread in your chest. The corners of your lips curved into a smile as you returned his expression and nodded.

“Of course we do.” You agreed, your smile growing into a grin as he leaned over and met your lips together. 

“You worry too much, Babe,” he murmured when the kiss broke, his hand sliding behind your neck to pull you back in.

You sighed, your hand going to his chest as you kissed him back. All the arguments, the secrets, none of it seemed to matter anymore. Not when you were so close to the end. 

A Corridor sprouted from the ground, the sound of it breaking through the kiss as Xigbar sighed heavily and pulled away. Saix stepped out of the darkness, his amber gaze looking to you before focusing on Xigbar. 

“Sora has entered the castle,” he went straight to the point, disregarding that he had just interrupted the rare tender moment. “It would be wise to prepare.”

“Yeah, yeah, got it covered.” Xigbar assured him, gripping your arm as he walked away from Saix. 

You glanced over your shoulder at Saix, before looking back forward to stay by Xigbar’s side. 

“How long do you think we have?” You asked with a whisper. 

Xigbar stopped around the corner, taking in a deep breath. “Ten, fifteen minutes, maybe.”

You could feel the color draining from your face as the panic nestled itself back inside of you. The thought of either of you fading away was something you weren’t prepared for. The wishes and promises Xigbar had given you weren’t helping the building dread as you sucked in a breath and wrapped your arms around Xigbar’s torso, burying your face against his chest. 

“Woah,” Xigbar stumbled back a step, chuckling breathily as he placed his hands along your shoulders. “You alright there?”

“No,” you breathed out, even if it came out more like a weak whimper than an actual word. “I – I can’t do this.”

Xigbar didn’t respond. His arms wrapped around you, his breaths deep and long as he held you there in silence. 

“Don’t worry about it, Hot Stuff.” He eventually told you, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you back. His hand tipped under your chin to bring your empty gaze back up to his. “I’ll take care of it, alright?”

You swallowed, shaking your head. “What about you? I can’t let you–”

“Did you even listen to a word I said earlier?” He asked, putting up a finger to quiet you down. “I said we’ll be fine.”

“How can you know that?” You asked him, wishing for once you had the emotions to allow you to cry so you could have some sort of release. 

“You’re just gonna have to trust me for once.” He told you, his lips tipping into a half smirk as he stepped back and put his arms out at his sides. “We’ll be fine!”

“You can’t–”

“You be a good girl now, alright?” Xigbar interrupted you, saluting with a full smirk as he stepped back into a sprouted Corridor. “I’ll be back.”

“Xigbar!” You reached out for him, running forward, but he was gone. 

You had to go after him.


	17. Chapter 17

Ba-dum...

Ba-dum...

Darkness… Nothing. You had faded, you knew you had. Vague memories played through your thoughts. The castle, a battleground, a hero of light… Xigbar.

What happened to Xigbar?

Ba-dum

Your chest tightened -- or, at least you thought it did. How could it tighten when you were no longer existing?

Ba-dum

What was that sound? It seemed familiar, somehow. As if it was something you had lost so long ago, something that used to be a part of you. But that was impossible… Right?

You recalled being in the castle, searching desperately for Xigbar after he had left you to confront the hero. Then you had found him, in the center of the foyer, his guns at his sides as he stumbled forward.

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

Whatever that sound was, it was quickening, pounding at the memory of Xigbar fading. Particles of darkness had wisped away, disappearing, fading into nothingness. You remembered yelling, crying out his name as you summoned a Corridor around yourself and reappeared on the battlefield. But you were too late. Xigbar faded before your eyes could even meet. 

Before you could say goodbye. 

Everything became a blur as your weapons materialized in your grasp. You remembered fighting, accusing the hero and his friends of murdering the only thing that mattered to you. All of it had been useless. You should have known it was. If they were able to take out Xigbar… what made you think you stood a chance?

You had fallen to your knees, eyes focused on where Xigbar had faded. The same particles that had shredded away from him began floating around you. That was it… You’d lost. 

You’d lost everything. 

“Hey…” The hero’s voice had calmed, it seemed uncertain and almost sad. “Did you --- actually care about him?”

A bitter laugh had passed your lips, a single tear spilling down your cheek as you looked up towards the moon that shone through the windows above. 

“I loved him…” you confessed.

There was no reply, no condolences or apologies. Just silence as you wisped away from the small sense of life you clung to. 

Then nothing. 

Ba-dum

That damned sound again, keeping you tethered to some semblance of existence, though you still weren’t sure exactly what it was. It beat, over and over again, as if on some sort of rhythm. Something about it was almost comforting as you listened to it, feeling it course through you. 

Were you… alive?

Focusing on the sound, you tried to breath in. Fresh air inhaled through your nose, filling your chest. 

You were alive.

The realization was short lived as the breath triggered a nerve in your back to spasm. A hiss escaped you, growing into a whimper as the pain shot to your side where you had been struck by the hero’s blade. Your body shivered uncontrollably, recalling the spell of ice the magician had summoned over you, freezing you in place for the final blow. Tears spilled from your eyes, your lips parting as cries and sobs tore out of you as you relived the pain of your demise. 

A familiar voice called out to you, but you couldn’t understand what they were saying as their hands pulled you up into their arms.

Your body was limp, but you did nothing to fight them as your head was pressed up against their chest. A cooling sensation washed through you, a spell that caused your muscles to calm and the pain to subside. You let out a breath of relief, your hand shakily reaching up to your rescuer’s chest. 

“Better?” He asked, his chin against your head. 

His voice caused your heart to jump. 

Your. Heart.

With a sharp breath, your hand went over your chest. That beating, that sound… it was your heart. 

“You ok there, Hot Stuff?” He asked again.

Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes fluttering open as you pushed yourself to sit up. Everything was blurred, your head spinning as it attempted to acclimate to being alive again, but you blinked rapidly in attempts to hurry the process. As things became clear, you recognized the smirk on your rescuer. Then his scars, the familiar eyepatch, and the golden eye that stared back at you, awaiting your reaction. 

“X-Xigbar!” You gasped, your voice raspy and cracking as if it hadn’t been used in months. 

Xigbar snickered, his hand resting alongside your neck. “Surprised?”

You tried to find the words as the tears of pain transformed into ones of happiness. The distance closed between you as your hands went to the sides of his face and your lips pressed together. Xigbar chuckled into the kiss, his arms wrapping around you to keep you steady. The kiss broke breathlessly, your heads leaned against the other as you took the sight of him in. 

A breathy laugh bubbled out of you as more tears poured down your cheeks. Every emotion that you wished you could feel as a Nobody overwhelmed your pounding heart and you weren’t exactly sure how to handle it. 

“Told you we’d be fine.” He told you, pulling back with a grin. “You didn’t believe me.”

You wiped away your tears with the back of your hands, shaking your head. “I don’t… I don’t understand. What happened? How are you here? I---” your stared at your hands resting on his chest. “I watched you fade...”

“I can’t say I get the specifics of how it works,” he shrugged, pushing back your hair and smirking as you leaned into his touch. “But what I do know is that we’ve been recompleted. Hearts and all.”

“That’s… possible?” You asked, feeling your heart beating inside you as your lips curved into a smile. “It has to be.”

“We all woke up where we were turned into Nobodies in the first place.” He explained, tilting his head to the side as you looked back up at him with widened eyes. 

You looked around, prepared to see Ansem’s lab around you. Instead, you found yourself on an unfamiliar bed. Paintings of suns, floating lights, flowers, and a golden haired girl covered the stone walls and even the bricked floor of the round room. 

“I don’t recognize this place,” you admitted, your gaze focusing on the single window of the room that overlooked a green world outside. 

“That’s cause I brought you here.” Xigbar told you, his brow quirking up when you looked back to him. “Couldn’t just leave you there for others to find or worse, make you a heart tank like me.”

“Heart-- tank?” You repeated, hating the way it sounded on your tongue as your heart dropped. “What do you mean?”

You focused on your hands along his chest, realizing that you couldn’t feel it beating. 

“Oh no…” you breathed out, your fingers clenching against his chest. “You’re… a Nobody.”

“For now,” he sighed, slinging his head back. “Only until it’s no longer convenient for me.”

“Convenient?” You repeated. 

With a chuckle, he looked back to you. “Listen Babe, why don’t you let me worry about the details? You’re safe, you’re alive, that’s really all that matters.”

Your lips twisted into a frown, emotions that you hadn’t missed as a Nobody bubbling up and causing uneasiness to settle inside of you. 

“What’s going on, Xigbar?” You asked firmly, your heart jumping at his responding smirk. 

“Nothing you need to worry about.” He assured you. “I got the old coot wrapped around my finger. We’ll both be free before long. Promise.”

A soft breath left you. “How much do you know that you aren’t telling me?” You asked.

“Eh, a lot,” he admitted, falling back onto the bed, his hands laced behind his head. “That’s who I am, Hot Stuff. The man full of secrets.”

You sighed, moving your aching muscles to lay down beside him. Resting your head along his chest, you muttered, “Just promise me you’ll be alright. I’ve already lost you once.” Running your hand along the indents of his coat, you added. “I don’t know if I could handle it a second time.”

His grip around you tightened as he let out a long breath. “As long as you stay here while I handle everything else, we’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure I’m not taking someone else’s home?” You asked, “I don’t even know where we are.”

“Well excuse my poor manners, you’re in Corona.” He explained, sitting up and standing from the bed. He went towards the window as you watched him, looking out at the world below. “Lucky for you, this tower just recently became vacant. It’s all yours.”

You carefully stood up, your legs shaking as you stumbled forward into a chair, causing you to fall. Xigbar appeared in a wisp of smoke, catching you before you could hit the ground. He smirked as he swept you up into his arms, carrying you towards the window so you could see. 

Flowers speckled the lush grassy fields that led into a cave and forest. A crystal river flowed just below, trickling from a waterfall that you could hear but couldn’t quite see from the window. 

“It’s beautiful.” You whispered, leaning your head along his shoulder. 

“Yeah, it’s not half-bad.” He agreed, making you giggle. “You shouldn’t have to worry about anyone bothering you here.”

You hummed, closing your eyes as you let out a breath and listened to your heart beat. “Are you planning on keeping me here?”

“Until you recover,” he told you. “Then, I might have some plans.”

“Which are?” You asked.

“You really expect me to spoil the fun?” He asked in return chuckling at your exasperated sigh in response. 

He carried you back to the bed, laying you down. You tried to sit up, but found that the spell he had used on you was wearing off as a rush of exhaustion washed over your sore muscles. Xigbar sat along the edge of the bed, his gaze absently dancing over the room as you looked over him. 

“Thank you, for saving me.” You told him, your heart stuttering at the genuine smile he sent you in response. 

“Of course, Hot Stuff.” His smile grew into a smirk. “Have to have something to look forward to when I’m not doing the dirty work for the old coot.”

Your smile faltered at his insinuation. There was no telling what sort of things he was being forced to do. Things that you most likely would have been forced into if he hadn’t rescued you. 

“Welp,” Xigbar clapped his hands on his legs as he stood up, startling you from your thoughts. “I better get going. I’m late for a meeting as it is.”

“Wait, I--” you reached for him, pushing yourself to sit up despite the twang of pain in response. Xigbar awaited your objection to finish as your voice trailed off and your hand fell back to the bed beside you. There wasn’t anything you could do. Swallowing thickly, you strained a smile, looking back up at him. “Come back safely.”

His blank expression turned into a smirk as he leaned over and met your lips for a lingering kiss. 

“I’ll be back before you know it, Hot Stuff.”


	18. Chapter 17.5

The tower that Xigbar had brought you to was small, but surprisingly well furnished. Whoever had recently vacated it had numerous hobbies that you could see — baking, candle-making, and reading among them. It was the paintings that intrigued you the most though. The previous occupant had clearly had a lot of time on their hands; the paintings spanned from floor to ceiling and interlocked in such intricate ways that you found a new design every time you looked up. It was nothing short of breathtaking, and yet you got the sense that whoever had lived here had been incredibly lonely.

Not that you could blame them. As beautiful as your surroundings were, and as well furnished as the tower itself was, you couldn’t help but want to leave it. Life in the Organization — with Xigbar especially — had given you a taste of how big the world was, and you found that now that you had a heart, you only wanted more.

You wanted Xigbar more now, too. Any time you had longed for him before, the feeling had been relegated to a dull but manageable ache in your chest. Now, even though it had been only a few days, it felt as though there was a crushing weight bearing down on you that you couldn’t get rid of or distract yourself from. You’d learned that being a Nobody hadn’t meant you had no emotions entirely, but it had certainly spared you the brunt of the hurt.

Sighing, you found yourself once more staring out the only window in the tower. He said he’d be back soon, but a restless energy had begun to fill you. Your days were alternately spent pacing or lying around doing nothing — you couldn’t bring yourself to touch any of the former occupant’s things. Something about your presence already seemed invasive, and you didn’t want to disturb their home more than you had to. Despite that, you were tired more often than not. You were starting to get the sense that something wasn’t right, you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

The familiar sound of a dark corridor opening sent you sitting bolt upright, your head whipping towards it. Before you could stop it, a huge smile had spread across your face, and Xigbar had barely exited the portal when you threw your arms around him.

“Whoa, there, Hot Stuff. I take it somebody missed me?”

His words and the feeling of his hand resting on your head seemed to bring you back to reality, and you realized how exuberant your greeting was. You felt your face burn as you tried to pull back, but he wouldn’t let you pull away completely.

“S-sorry,” you found yourself apologizing. Regaining a heart seemed to amplify not only your feelings for Xigbar, but your shyness as well. You couldn’t remember the last time being around him had made you feel this nervous. Mentally scolding yourself for your shyness, you pushed it down, reminding yourself of all you had been through together. You made yourself look up at him as you said, “Of course I missed you.”

He let out a laugh before looking around the room.

“Didn’t like any of the toys laying around?”

A tinge of annoyance ran through you at the way he referred to the former occupant’s belongings as toys. You took a deep breath before replying.

“No. I thought about it, but it just… didn’t feel right.”

For the first time since you’d been recompleted, you found yourself thinking about how you had a heart now… and he didn’t. You weren’t sure yet what that meant for you, or for him, or for your relationship as a whole, but you knew now that you’d had the thought, it wouldn’t leave you alone. You wanted to groan in frustration — why couldn’t things ever just be  _ simple _ for the two of you? The way it had been when your relationship first started.

As if sensing your discomfort, Xigbar pulled back from you enough to see your face. For a moment he simply stared at you, then he grinned.

“Well then you must be bored out of your mind. How about we blow this pop stand?”

“Yes,” you said immediately. “Yes, please, I would love that.”

His responding grin set your heart fluttering with love and anticipation. You couldn’t wait to see what he had in store for you.


	19. Chapter 18

The world outside was even more beautiful up close than it had been from the window of your gilded prison. Though you had tried not to think of it that way, because you knew you were only there for your own protection, it still ended up being stifling. Especially because you still didn’t know what exactly you were being protected from. Xigbar hadn’t said anything more after that first day, and you hadn’t been able to work up the courage to ask. Now that you were thinking about it again, you found you didn’t want to ask. You didn’t want to risk ruining the day and wiping the roguish grin off his face.

Instead, you allowed yourself to gape at the world around you. Despite the many different worlds that you’d seen, and the fact that this forest could have been very similar to any other forest you’d been in, it was still beautiful. Dappled sunlight made its way through the leaves, contrasting with the shadows so those same leaves shone brilliantly. Birds whistled their tranquil melodies, some of them surprising you with how close they flew to you. And yet, they seemed to be avoiding Xigbar.

You only wondered about it for a moment before remembering that he was once again a Nobody. Could the animals sense it? Did they know there was something unnatural about his existence even though they couldn’t see it? You couldn’t think of another logical explanation. It troubled you and brought your mind back around to the topic you were both avoiding. You didn’t understand why he’d become a Nobody again, why he hadn’t just left with you when he had the chance.

Your lips parted, your eyes finding Xigbar walking at your side. He was looking upwards, lips quirked upward.

“If you got something to say, just say it.”

You averted your eyes immediately, cheeks flushing. You hadn’t meant to be so obvious in your staring, but then again, Xigbar had always been able to see right through you. A feat that would probably only be more easily accomplished now that you had a heart again. Sucking in a breath, you bit your lip, wondering if you had enough courage to bring up your worries. Wondering if you should.

“Just wondering where we’re going,” you said, forcing a smile instead.

If he had any notion that you were lying, or rather replacing one truth with another, he didn’t say or show it. He simply grinned at you.

“Oh, trust me, Hot Stuff, you’re gonna love it.” He sighed abruptly, raising his hands in a half shrug. “Though if you’re so impatient to get there, I could always call up a corridor. Thought you’d enjoy the sunshine, but I guess…” He lifted up his hand.

“No!” You jumped at him, latching your arms around his and looking up at him pleadingly. “No, I’m not that impatient,” you continued. “I can wait.” Your heart beat loudly in your chest as you stared into his gold eye. 

The truth was you were enjoying being outside. Sitting in the open window paled in comparison to being able to feel grass under your feet and the breeze against your skin. You wanted to savor every minute of this walk, especially since you’d just been rudely reminded that it wouldn’t last forever. That eventually you would have to return to that tower and he would have to leave again, off to do things he wouldn’t tell you about, for someone he wouldn’t tell you about. Though at first you had begun to suspect Xemnas was ordering him around again, the longer you thought about it, the more you began to wonder if it was somebody else instead. Because if it was Xemnas, why wouldn’t he say so?

“Hey.” You jerked, realizing you’d been simply staring at Xigbar for several moments. “Cat got your tongue?”

You hesitated, the words caught in your throat. Desperately, you wanted to ask him who he was working for, what he was up to, why he couldn’t just  _ stay _ with you. But the words wouldn’t come, no matter how much you wanted them to. The day had just barely begun, and you were scared that if you begged him to stay, the two of you would head back to the tower and you’d be alone again for who knew how much longer.

“I’m just really excited,” you finally said, and this time your smile was forced. You knew that Xigbar knew this wasn’t what you’d really wanted to say, but he let you have the lie.

“Well let’s get this show on the road then.”

You half expected him to open a corridor and take you directly to where the two of you were going. Instead, he simply starting walking again, letting you cling to his arm. Fittingly, the two of you had come upon a marshy area, the sky obscured by a thick canopy of trees. The entire area was dark and dreary, and you hoped you’d pass through it soon. The darkness only seemed to be worsening your anxiety. Luckily, it didn’t last long before the two of you found yourselves back in the sunlight. You took a deep breath as you emerged from the marsh, grateful when Xigbar didn’t mention it.

He simply led you onward, past cliffs and more woods, allowing you to take in the scenery around you.

“If you keep getting distracted, we won’t make it in time,” he said, after you had once again slowed down to stare at something. This caught your attention immediately, your eyes flicking over to him.

“Make it in time? In time for what?”

“Keep it moving, and you’ll see, Hot Stuff.” He grinned cheekily at you and you huffed, but listened, increasing your pace. So far you had only seen bits of nature, and honestly that had been more than enough, but now he had your curiosity piqued. “Course, we’d be there already if we just took a corridor.”

You bit your lip — as much as you wanted to continue enjoying the scenery, you also didn’t want to miss whatever he had in store for you. The time the two of you had was precious and you wanted to take advantage of each and every moment.

“Okay,” you said finally, nodding.

“Okay, what?” 

You gave him a withering stare at his teasing and rolled your eyes slightly, but you couldn’t help the way your lips quirked upward ever so slightly.

“Okay, let’s take a corridor,” you conceded.

“Gee, I thought you said you weren’t that impatient,” he kept teasing.

“Xigbaaaar.” Your voice came out in a whine, though you didn’t mean it to. He grinned at you.

“Alright, alright,” he said, and in the next moment, a corridor had appeared, ready to take you to… something. Without thinking, you stepped towards it, only for Xigbar to hold out his arm in front of you, barring your path.

You looked up at him in annoyance, mouth open to protest before he pressed a finger to your lips. Instead you grumbled against his finger.

“Ah, ah,” he said, the mischief on his face tempered by seriousness. The fact that the two were able to live in effortless unison on his face had your mind spinning. “You’ve got a heart now, Hot Stuff.” You couldn’t help the way your eyes darted down to your chest, as if you’d be able to see evidence of the offending organ. There was nothing, of course, and you felt his finger leave your lips to lift your head up so that your eyes met again. “Which means this ain’t exactly safe for you. We gotta be quick — no sightseeing.”

You laughed a bit as his lips quirked upwards again. Both of you knew there was nothing worth looking at in dark corridors. Inky expanses of black, midnight blue, and purple had become so commonplace for you, that neither of you ever spared a second glance at it. You nodded anyway. If he was taking the time to explain this to you, you knew that it was important.

After you nodded, he removed his arm from in front of you, instead wrapping it around your waist. You gave him a questioning look, but he didn’t deign to respond, instead just giving you that roguish grin again. The two of you stepped into the corridor, and you immediately sucked in a breath. The air was heavy inside of it, thick, as if with humidity, though you knew there wasn’t really such a thing as weather inside dark corridors.

“Oh,” you breathed. This was what Xigbar had meant about it being dangerous for you to travel via corridor. Your chest felt heavy, and your breaths came shallowly. You picked up your pace at the same time Xigbar tightened his arm around you and ushered you along faster.

It seemed like an eternity before you were exiting the portal again, sunlight bursting into being above your heads. You took a deep breath, gasping as if you had just emerged from being underwater for nearly too long. Xigbar’s voice came, muffled at first and then clearer.

“You okay there, Hot Stuff?” 

“Y-yeah,” you managed. And it was mostly true. Things were coming clearer and your breath was coming easier. The weight on your chest was slowly lifting.

“Note to self, no corridor travel for you.”

You nodded in agreement. Though corridors were convenient for the speed with which you could travel, you were in no hurry to experience that again.

Now that your head finally seemed to be clear, you looked around, taking in where he had brought you. The two of you had appeared in a copse of trees, and beyond them you could see a cobblestoned pathway that led to a bridge. The bridge ended in great wooden doors, though they were open so you could see past them. Multitudes of people bustled through them, towards stalls and each other, and in the air, you could suddenly feel a sense of excitement.

“Are we still in Corona?” you asked, looking up at Xigbar.

“Sure are,” he said. “And this is their Sunlight Festival.”


	20. Chapter 19

The Sunlight Festival turned out to be a yearly thing — held annually on the missing princess’s birthday — though it had only just recently started being called that. While you sat outside the gates for a little bit longer, recovering your strength, Xigbar filled you in on a bit of the world’s history. You listened raptly as he talked about how the princess had been kidnapped even before her first birthday by a selfish witch named Mother Gothel, locked away in a tower all her life until she was finally rescued.

“Hang on,” you said, holding up your hand. Your head was mostly clear from the dark corridor, and definitely enough that you had a few questions, the first being: how did he know all this. As you were about to ask though, another thought stopped you. “A tower?”

“Yup,” Xigbar answered, his attention briefly more focused on the festival than on you.

“As in… the tower that I’m staying in?”

This caught his attention and he grinned at you. “You got it.”

“So that’s how you knew that she wasn’t going to come back,” you mused. “You knew she finally got to go home.” 

You felt a sense of wonder at the whole thing — you had been staying in the same tower that a princess had been locked in her entire life. Beyond that, you also had a conflicting sense of disgust. The tower was beautiful, and you were grateful to the refuge it was to you right now, away from the Organization and whatever they were planning; whatever Xigbar was still apparently a part of. But knowing what it had once been used for and what she had escaped from made your skin crawl.

So this was what it was like to have a heart again, you mused. The myriad of feelings just kept returning to you day after day, somehow bringing something new with it each time. You couldn’t recall the last time you had felt two such contradictory emotions. Wanting to enjoy scenery and wanting to quickly get to whatever surprise Xigbar had for you hadn’t been anywhere near the level these emotions were at, though maybe it was because that was also before you’d gone through a dark corridor unprotected.

You looked back up at Xigbar, who was watching you process this information, patiently. Logically, you supposed you should only be grateful, considering that everything had worked out for her in the end and now you had a safe place to stay. Still, it seemed that logic couldn’t do much to banish the uneasiness in your gut.

“Hey, Hot Stuff.” You blinked a few times, refocusing on Xigbar. You hadn’t even realized you’d zoned out again. “If it bothers you that much, we can find you new digs. Just say the word.”

Your mouth was only open for a second before you closed it again. Did it bother you that much? Should it? You weren’t sure. Had emotions always been this complicated, or was this a side effect of living without a heart for ten years?

You stared up at the sky, a clear blue dotted with puffy white clouds. This world was beautiful and peaceful and, you realized with a start, that gilded prison actually had started to feel like a home, or at the very least, a safe space for you and Xigbar. Nobody else knew about it, save the princess and her rescuers. The Organization didn’t occupy it with you while you waited for orders and your next mission. It was a place that was just for the two of you. The way Neverland had been. 

“No,” you finally said, remembering Xigbar was still waiting for an answer. “No, it doesn’t bother me actually.” It wasn’t exactly true, but the newfound knowledge didn’t bother you more than you actually liked the tower and the valley it resided in. 

Xigbar regarded you for a moment longer before his face split in a grin. 

“All right, then. Now that that’s settled“—he held out his hand to you—“are you ready for this festival or what?”

His words set your heart racing again. You’d nearly forgotten about the festival with this most recent revelation, but now that he’d reminded you, you found your eyes darting over to the open gates and the people you could see beyond them. Every person you could see was smiling, and you felt your own lips curling upwards at the sight. 

“Yeah,” you said, taking his hand. “Let’s go.”

Xigbar helped you to your feet, keeping hold of your hand as the two of you walked towards the gates. There were a few guards stationed outside, though they didn’t seem to be doing anything more than watching out for excessively rowdy festival goers as they waved you through, one with a smile. On the other side of the great peach colored gate, the festival was revealed to you. 

Stalls and vendors lined the streets, citizens that could only be described as joyous laughing and chatting with each other as you and Xigbar passed by them. Some of them looked up as you passed, tipping their hats and offering smiles. They didn’t seem to think there was anything suspicious about the two of you, unlike the birds that had steered clear of Xigbar before.

The further you went into the festival, the more people there were — people buying flowers and food, people giving tributes to the returned princess, and people dancing as the street opened up before the steps to the palace. Music was growing in volume as well, a pleasant and upbeat tune that the festival goers clearly knew well if the way they danced in sync was any indication. You watched, entranced, a small smile growing on your face. The music was reaching something within you, something that had been dormant while you were a Nobody. Lifting your free hand up to your chest, you let your smile grow. You had forgotten how even music could speak to your heart. 

You jumped slightly as you felt Xigbar’s fingers brushing your hair back to place an unidentified object behind your ear. Eyes wide, you looked up at him, reaching up to touch the thing he had given you. 

“Careful now,” he said, mirth on his lips as your hand paused. You ignored how the mirth didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t wanna ruin it.”

Heeding his words, you reached up more carefully, fingers meeting with the soft but slightly leathery texture of flower petals. You felt your cheeks flush and your lips parted, unsure of what to say. In all the years you’d known him and the time you’d been together, he’d never acted quite so… sweet. Though his teasing words and mischievous smile stole any seriousness the action might have had, you still weren’t expecting something almost tender from him.

“A souvenir,” he said in response to your silent stare. He waved his hand flippantly.

“Right,” you agreed, smiling slightly. His words had reminded you that you would have to return to the tower at some point, and he would have to leave, but the two of you were here now, and you needed to make the most of that. 

Your eyes once more found the dancing villagers, and an idea hit you. Your cheeks immediately flushed deeper at the thought as you furtively glanced towards Xigbar and away. Not quite enough to escape his notice though.

“What’s that look for?”

“I—” You bit your lip, feeling as though something was crawling under your skin. It took you a moment to identify it — the restless anxiety of wanting to do something desperately, but being too afraid to actually do it. If you’d had a heart back then, it might have been the way you felt when you first confronted Xigbar about his clandestine meetings or the Organization’s true plans. You shook your head, pulling yourself from those thoughts. There wasn’t anything you could do about the past, or whatever Xigbar was currently doing, so what sense was there in worrying?

Easier said than done, of course.

But as the music swelled and you saw the dancers begin to twirl and clap, it felt like something snapped within you. You looked over at Xigbar. He raised an eyebrow at you and opened his mouth as you squeezed his hand. Before he could even start his question, you were pulling him forward, into the crowd, and started dancing.

You didn’t know the steps past the twirling and clapping, and it began to show the longer you dragged Xigbar along with you. The two of you were out of step with the other dancers; it was only because of Xigbar taking the lead that you didn’t run into anyone. The doubt began to solidify in your mind, especially once you nearly tripped over your own feet. You hadn’t realized you could regret a decision so quickly and thoroughly until this moment, when all you wanted to do was melt into the cobblestones.

Looking up, you found Xigbar was smirking at you, and you immediately looked back down. You were sure that your cheeks were on fire. Having a heart again… was embarrassing. You began to pull away, ready to retreat into the crowd, but Xigbar wouldn’t release your hands.

“Uh-uh, Hot Stuff. You started this, now you gotta finish it.”

You clenched your eyes tightly shut, praying it would end soon. After far, far too long, you heard the music stop, and this time the clapping was applause, loud and out of sync. You immediately began to drag Xigbar back to the edge of the crowd, heading for the gate. You couldn’t believe you had just done that, and the mortification didn’t begin to ebb until you’d made it to thinner crowds.

“What was that all about?”

Shaking your head, you struggled to find your voice.

“I—I don’t know. I thought it would be…”  _ Fun. _ For a brief moment, you had thought it would be fun.

“Sure is fun having a heart again, eh, Hot Stuff?”

You laughed breathlessly. Seemed having a heart made you easier to read than ever.

“I wouldn’t exactly say that,” you said, somewhat bitterly.

“Hey.” Xigbar’s gloved fingers lifted your chin up for you to look at him. “Hearts are powerful things. You gotta be pretty strong to handle one.”

You blinked at him, brow furrowing in confusion. 

“I… don’t think I can handle it,” you confessed, looking down again.

Xigbar laughed, drawing your attention back up to him, even as you felt near to tears.

“Yeah,” he said, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips, “you can, Hot Stuff. You can.” 


End file.
